World Spirit Cleanse
It is always good to know what is in a song!
I can easily start this blog by asking where I begin but the truth I know very well where to begin, and that is with the deepest gratitude and thanks to the Worlds Almighty Spirit of Love, Freedom, and Life itself!
I am sooooooo Grateful I cannot tell you, but yes, I can because that is what I am just about to do.
First of all, I am so Grateful for the term and the unseen presence which is an all-encompassing universal World Spirit. It is so easy to get hung up and what can feel like or be seen as cultural or political religious names for an energy that embodies everybody essentially. With that, I am exhaling whilst saying: Dear God. Thank You I am beyond grateful for this release, not just of the actual single but of all the moments and experiences over the years it took to selector and combine such music!
For me, this is a completely unexpected break out moment.
As I woke up in a continued gratitude for love and life, I genuinely and finally feel a weight has been lifted from me. It has been more than over a week I think since I cut out from work just prior to this years May Bank Holiday. I am not going to lie things at work had been building up to something which in part seemed like something very unpleasant from who and which direction…you know to this day I cannot tell you for sure!
Whilst I have always lived with and managed long term health concerns which can play apart and have an effect in any number of things I can be medically, or clinically impacted by…incidents that were occurring out on road intermittently, (on and off) since 2014 had reached a portion of a feeling of absolute hate. To have someone target me specifically that way along more than a stretch of road, and then being a state of being aware of being forced to keep my eyes open, after observing I would say a troubling situation coming up behind me was the scariest thing. In some ways I had sadly gotten so used to the antics of sick with jealously, stalking, and internet trolling activities that I did not take evasive action in time, not that I should have too!
I returned home thankfully but completely heart sick. It is nothing new to me not to know where or how I will fund myself next. The transport industry has almost always said to be short of drivers, but yet for me when willing or in need of work…there are times due to responses had I not been strong enough within myself I almost felt like an imposition just for turning to fill a position. I turn up to do a job not to be of entertainment to anyone. This is daily bread for me so to speak. Yet for many years it has felt like somebody is underneath it all trying spin something negative. I had long been physically struggling with the very heavy lifting physical side of the job, and for whatever reason had long been suspicious of “those” who had long been entertained by me struggling to spin pallets and unload trailers. It has taken me a lot of years to learn to be strong enough to put my foot down for my own health sake, and say no, I can do no more. I cannot live so scared of ending up without work, and money for the sake of now, finally preserving my own strength. I literally have to leave that for the World Spirit to Cleanse!
Thanks be to God!
That felt so good to finally release.
I begged for more time it felt like every moment of the day whilst out on the road. For all the things I wanted to accomplish like just simply getting my own home resituated cleaned up, and properly organised so I can see what I need to do and accomplish but yet whilst grateful, and thankful for so much work being put my way. Especially, being taken on after covid, and being kept on considering what had gone on previously was in and of itself completely amazing. I had some challenges in the past with work. For anyone, dealing with me or taking me believe you me it is an enormous challenge for them. I am not a consistent worker so that can be a bit of thing for some recruiters. The fact that it is more than likely that a recruiter will be approached by a stalker of some sort who would more than likely want some control over what I do, may be another challenge. But with that none of that may happen or be true. However, for anyone taking me on they can be faced with companies challenging or questioning the work I do or the amount of time it takes me to do work required, at times for good reason at times for no good reason other than for the problems mentioned, and on top of that may make it completely difficult for the company which is generally a recruitment agency as the intermediary. There had been times the agency was faced with on more than one occasion not being paid. On one occasion I had seen the set-up of none payment so clearly which took so much wrangling. It was an aggravation no one needs in the workplace where everybody is about business. Despite some really bad arguments there was a lot of resolve in the shape of a lot of good work. Which is probably, as someone aware of the jealously of a stalker there was so much effort to try and mess that all up.
Anyway, the undercurrent of all that good work, and much resolve at least that is how I felt, spite and cruelty of antic via roadway saw me again return home grateful, and thankful, and heart sick. I had asked for a really long weekend if the current continued work arrangement was to continue. However, with back problems looming thankfully in a lot of ways I was no longer suitable for the role. Which in all honesty in the long term would be safer all around!
With all that I wanted to do at home you would think once home I would spring into action. Oh no!
I had begun to observe and experience a very high and what felt like an acute well practiced energetic level of abuse. This was not highly spiritual energy giving vitalising energetic connection. With a growing or continued social media and music presence I noticed an intensity to activity. Now, I understand that may sound completely naïve and stupid which may even offer up cries of what do you expect? To be treated like a human being is the answer to that. I am older enough I feel to see what has long been expected, that anyone in or heading what is perceived as the “public eye” should automatically expect to be abused by those who think they have a right to do so because of the position they think they hold over you? It was not only that I notice every time I was going home on rest break, I literally, felt physically pronged. I remember getting to one junction near work near where there is multi-level car park and feeling like I had a 4 square energy pressure and compression on the area of my ovaries, believe it or not. Being around certain motorist literally felt like they were driving up on you, deliberately trying to get your attention or observing certain actions that will then feel like being sexually groped!
I returned home thankful, grateful, hurt, abused, and exhausted. What my nightly shift had become was so heart-breaking to me. But, what I never allowed it to do is stopping me from enjoying what I loved to do, and that is my job, my love of travel, and driving despite how hard they tried, and how obvious it became as the purpose behind all antics!
As I studied to become a Certified Brain Health Professional, I learnt of the varying affects on the brain which can cause inactivity. Despite being trained, I returned home unable to spring to my feet. I returned home grateful, and it feels like I went straight into a state of spiritual and creative suspension. I couldn’t not even begin to get started on tasks or chores. Just was not happening, couldn’t even force despite taking all necessary nutraceuticals. I just needed to rest and sleep exactly as and when I needed too, without that being dictated by anybody!
When it comes to health I always emphasis regardless or even against all researched or studied phenomena that what is factually good for health always prevail. That said I can only describe the journey to where I am today as a very spiritual journey for me personally even if for anyone else reading this something else can be seen.
Had so much time off recently. Enough, it would seem for me to turn my little businesses around. But, actually for what had been going on around me, which eventually affected me internally it seemed like no time at all. I felt a very mental, interference the kind intimacy stalkers and intruders create. But here is the strangest thing. I found that once I started to experience another campaign of stalking there felt like a need to drag me back to the past. Whilst in my own personal life and intention I was always working so I could return to what I have started out doing, and that was to be a backing singer, as I said before I was always too conflicted to be out front, and I still am. But, saying that I just remembered being around some friends at the time a while ago now, and them joking to me, I think we were at some music event, and I was trying to find a space in the back of the crowd, and they joked to me something to the effect of you are going to keep moving back and you will find you will end up out front!
Well, who would have thought it…but that is literally how blindly I have worked up until now! So, busy trying to build position almost means remains unseen. Returning home heart sick, testing out a newer updated version of another device I just start joking around with myself. I often download a lot of music and podcast from You Tube to listen to whilst commuting, but had been listening to local radio without even intending to mimic or copy that as I heard my voice in the first…what is now a Podcast style Radio Show, I just went with it, and almost could not stop myself once I started reaching for at first a short loop to pick up the atmosphere under my voice. I had such a very long and simple ambition to do so since I first started publishing Monologue Albums which I recorded on my laptop Voice Recorder, not fully understanding anything about how to record digitally. In a simple laptop voice record, there is no facility to split a region in a track or stack a voice, which was a long held very simple ambition of mine because I always had sung harmonies growing up that was not even something I had to learn or be taught how to do it just was. I had always heard it which is why I give thanks for what I have been “given” because you do not have to tell me where that comes from. I have never let go of the knowledge that has long been a connect to a power bigger than me. But not only that I was introduced to some of the best outstanding gospel music groups by loving family which to this day continue to be a great influence on me past, and presence. I am so grateful, so thankfully, and completely forever blessed as a result. I have so much gratitude and love for people there will never be enough words in this world to express it. The precious treasure of each person life is infinite regardless of the pain we all through as individuals, or even try to put others through due to deliberation or due to quite the opposite!
I got to Episode.#16 of my very own created Behind the Scenes of Freedom Podcast Style Talk to Yourself Radio Theatre Show and had just reached for these beats. Not thinking about what I was doing, just would scroll down the loop packs in GarageBand with absolutely no intention at time with anything specific in mind, other than I would be open maybe to a sense of a certain vibe of a rhythm. But I would scroll down the packs maybe flicking from genre to instrument sections, as I scroll down samples would play out and it would just fit my vibe, sometimes I would select a sound before a show or after which exactly how I found the inspiration to build into World Spirit Cleanse the hefty bass loops took me right back to the day when I first found hip hop with that funk style two part back on forth between two notes rhythm. I had to keep going back to listen to the end of the podcast until I thought, cha, make me just done the chat and run the tune. At that time, I thought it would be a great single because I was running behind on getting my studio stuff out because nothing was set up instrument wise. Whilst acapella is on the cards, not just yet nothing was lending itself to that at this time. The problem I had to put out a single with loop packs is you are not allowed to package loop packs by themselves and distribute them. So, I set about adding vocals. With nothing planned or pre-written I began saying: free yourself. Because that is what I feel I needed to do and should be doing right at that time. After two lines that was all I had for one night. Then I kept listening to the rest of the track, and without any effort from me I let the rest of the story out. “They doubled Up” referring to a style of stalking which goes on to become home trespass and burglary. Which is what my personal experience became. When I returned home on in February 2020 only to check cameras after returning home and realising something was wrong, and to find I finally caught them on camera! I learnt that night there was a style of stalker/burglary who must be stalking hence observing their targets style of dress, possibly even mannerism and lifestyle, and timing, which they then go on to accurately mimic so as to never be detected. They get away and at the same time possibly the stalker senses and behaviours within those individuals brain and mind gets the perfect revenge is what it feels like, because you as the target who has been through years of abuse, antics, financial, spiritual, and emotions strain and untold stress ends up accused!
Perfect alibi, because now nobody is looking for them all their years of hatred is on you after the years, they have enjoyed abusing, which can only go wrong if they cannot stop stalking you or breaking into your property until they caught! In cruelty you can almost feel forced into hoping for such an iniquity to occur. But for the World Spirit to Cleanse is much better. That is how I feel!
The transatlantic vibe if it can even be called that just followed naturally as a long held loving connection which dates back to childhood. “There messing with your head child” again a whole life where despite best efforts made to create different abuses and the ongoing affects them continue least of all because of dealing with stalker/s. As I continued to create the line “got to make it look like” came up. Which is a vibe from a style of stalking I, seen since the age of 17, and it had been the overall style of antics that were trying to grow around me recently, it is a line which can probably more aptly describe and is more than likely be used by intimacy seeking type stalkers who aim to or succeed in making it look like they are having some kind of connection to you maybe because they deal with you on some kind of frequent basis which in truth and reality does not exist as anything at all apart from nothing more than everyday human existence where by one way or the other we have to interact with one, and other.
“let’s pretend…who’s going to find out?” came out just perfect. It set the tone for every other scene. Now, I do not know if I am going to get this right. I love a good accent me, and pull off quite a few of them, and have been doing that since I was a kid, entertained and had startled a few people in my time with them. Like I said I am probably not going to get this correct and may cause offence, but I had long realised that within or among cockney accents there is a certain dialect or pronunciation. I do not know if that lended itself to certain areas of London or East London particular. But, I had long been fascinated with actresses at least sporting the accent, and in that scene for I caught it perfect which for lended itself as far back to my childhood in the mid to late 60’s which I just loved remembering hearing similar tones.
From there on it some how this track lead me into the spiritual clearing and healing I had long been praying for…something reminded me that I had tweeted Leading Leaders Lead with Peace. But as I am still in the writing of my book Fanaticism which has taken me on a energy to particular question my journey with God, and especially what was said to the beginning of sin which has led to the death of the human race, if that was just a mare decision or act then surely since the brain is changeable that can change. Sick and tired of anyone dying let alone losing loved ones. I slam back to my own shock against the oppressive energy I was living with on the day of recording. As I paced through the track, I just decided to scream out again the cruelty, spite, and greed I felt I had always forced to live with. My God. Dear World Spirit for real…something began smelling like burning from my chest area as I ranted and screamed Leading leaders lead with peace not with cruelty spite and greed. Literally, I smelt a smoking and felt a real release, and to be honest I should have kept going I reckon I still had several more stacks in me. That was the best ever healing. Heavy Metal Singers, and certain areas of Gospel Music Singers have that raspy way of growling out their lyrics. I never realised how cathartic is to actually perform that way. Which is why I called it an exorcism because that is literally how I experienced it!
When you are impounded with what is referred to racist, sexist, insulting abusive energy on a daily basis, or your life becomes affected by what might be a sadistic type of disease, injury, or disorder or somebody, I realise calm and tranquil mediation does not always kick that energy out of the way. But that screaming session did something else to whatever that residue was that I was living with.
I have never believed in curses at all…but some how became unduly affected by somebody or something, I let that experience fill the rest of the track as if felt like as I created the choir chorus lines I literally experienced an earthing of an energy which was in truth connected to me, and no doubt part of my own negativity which I continuity to try to heal, process, and overcome but there was other unwanted influences as well which I never intended to entertained but which tried very hard to gain precedence anyway.
The whole vibe I came home from felt like so much hard competition and belittling which I had also almost found myself succumbing too. It felt like I was being attacked for everyone having built multiple successful business whilst everything I was doing was still falling apart. Not saying that is completely true but it is what is felt like to me.
Before I knew it, I had created 21 Podcast Talk to Yourself Radio Theatre Shows which really helped me express and relate to some of my challenging experiences in new ways. Wanting to be more camera ready, and just be ready in general instead of still rolling out of bed feeling bedraggled and whipped and wiped out by the menopause.
Breezing through the rest of the track as I look at the term World and begin deliberately selecting as much as I can from every country I can recognise from around the world. As I am recording the sound of screeching railway tracks gets picked up, which immediately inspires me to say “take that train” after saying that I feel to hear the jolly soulful sound of a flute. I continue breezing through track and actually finish the track. But I keep listening back as I am still producing, and something…I do not know what but as I hear take that train I hear some kind of RnB type melody, but on what I can only describe as a running beat. Like a walking bass style. But I don’t have that. I record a cascading melody which I wish I kept. But went back over it trying to tighten it. Then was struggling how to begin the track without sound like I am singing “eerrrr” doing an “ooooo” for me has been difficult, so I am off to work on really tightening all that up and smoothing out a lot of what I have learnt.
The process into music has been very organic
Without any or too much effort put it
Finding the strength to release my music warts on all until I could get a grip, World Spirit Cleanse literally has done just that.
That one line “take that train” even though I was singing I have woken up everyday having to hear myself sing it loving the way the harmonies come in which has finally inspired me to really get serious about my solo’s I found I feel what had been missing for me. I needed something within in me that only I can give to myself to stop me from doing anything I was previously doing naturally, but which still felt sloppy to a part of me.
Needing time away from work has been so important to me. Loop packs have been the closet I can get to a collaboration at the moment God only knows I haven’t yet got the resources to make complete theatre out of what I am doing at the moment. But you will always find an element of theatre in my work which goes back to my teenage years when I had attended a theatre just before I actually left home, and that night brought me so much joy, and self-fulfilment. I left the theatre that evening knowing I loved what I felt, with no idea how I was going to make that be in my life. Until, now when its become more present now in my music, has been in my books, and whilst it is all still helter-skelter and I feel like I have no clue how to bring it all together, whilst not being able to spend too long out of bed once home. I can only…it is not even I can only. It just is what it is, somehow living effortless without any thought it feels like just going with each moment be that in or out of resistance. But in love all the way in everything that happens gratitude and beyond that is how this track was made.
So, from being able to sit in bed and enjoy a walk around an area you once loved and may still feel emotionally connected too, or an area you miss but would rather not have to wake up and getting to visit that place in person but can do so whilst eating plant based creamy sugar free citrus cheese cake in bed, to being able to still be in bed and enjoy a night in a expensive and exclusive real estate the escapism and fantasy to had at the tip of your fingertips through a digital device is beyond real, and wonderful too. Until, you have lots to get done!
I am so Grateful!
But before I go it occurred to me for some reason to avail myself of something which makes me quite self-conscious. Admitted or not my life has been under something conspicuous I realise that and intend to be no harm or threat to anyone. I have very sensitive about my internet activity recently least of all due to a couple of incidents near my home, where quite naturally I felt an inkling to watch some of my favourite singers and the lives of them and their family which they openly share. Thankfully, because it always inspires me no end. Only to recently be watching some vlogs recently to find by again this weird stalker style antics. Or antics of strangers I genuinely have not idea what to call but, something said to me or kept urging to watch certain programmes recently, and just by the very jacket that was worn something connected to something which occurred near my home, really weird mentioned only because it might help somebody, if you anyone has any concerns about my internet activity apart from internet trolls, be that security, detectives etc I can be contact at: email@example.com
I say that because when you are just following a path, it is open to interpretation good or bad, kind, or sad. My intention is not surreptitious at all. But I have been stalked and my home has been trespassed, and I have long been concerned about those who deliberately target people in the entertainment industries using private data of individual to sell to unscrupulous ideas people or whatever that are. That double ganger thing mentioned in this track is real. It happens, and it hurts the whole mistake identity thing is no joke, it is a very serious thing to mistaken for somebody else that can impact life and liberty!
It is no joke to continually live under that level of suspicious attack!
Anyway, just felt I had a bit more in me today on the topic raised in these works
Creating the Behind the Scenes of Freedom Podcast Talk to Yourself Radio Theatre Shows has been a learning curve as I always tried to give details of loop used because they are other people’s works, and I enjoy promoting that and celebrating the greatness that is, so thank you to all creators. Much Appreciated.
For some reason, when it came to getting all the information together for this track, I could hardly sit down long enough to do it, but I did start cleaning up and getting organised around my home. I had typed out most of the track line up on for it to disappear as I tried to copy and paste it. Eventually, thankfully it all came together.
Talk about law of attraction once I started dabbling in loop packs somehow all the names and titles of the loops aligned with either a memory, experience, or story I had created. Has been a really strange experience.
Let the World Spirit Cleanse Yah, whilst yah has a variation of meanings I really do like it yah from what is said to be the origin of the word spelt Yhvh. Meaning the name of the God of Israel. That’s just me!
You might why does one song need so much of an explanation. It does not it is just a case when something has been such a fantastic experience and healed so much within you and giving you such an impetuous to go forward and do even more. It is almost impossible not to continue to wax lyrical about it all!
I hope you have enjoyed listening to my music
Thank You for Reading
Thank You for Listening
Thank You for Watching
A Freedom of Being!