IN LOVING MEMORY OF QUEEN ELIZABETH THE II and HER HUSBAND
I am sorry if the following is not said in the best or most sensitive way, or with the right words. I am an expressionist, and the best I can do is share an honest account of any experience I have had in life which has moved me beyond, all belief.
On the 9th of September 2022. I arrived home after doing my local run around about 20:00 just happened to be scrolling through my you tube subscriptions, and saw the news. Queen Elizabeth the II had sadly passed away. I sat down silently screaming No...no...no...to myself. By the time I saw the Queen's Son King Charles the III signing, I lost it. I sat looking and realised what I had witnessed in my life. It was so huge, and such a feat of humanity. I was so moved I could not think. Whilst everyone else was offering condolences, I found myself hash tagging Thank You! not to be rude. My brain just couldn't function and think of what I else I should say. I was just stunned, and shocked, as completely selfish as that is, and sounds.
I woke up on the 17th of September 2022 I thought I was under the Thames. I wiped my eyes and realised I was thankfully on dry land. Before I hash tagged thank you, I had been love hearting peoples posts on Instagram who had thankfully offered condolences.
As I woke, I could hear the hymn "have thine own way, Lord" again in true expressionism as I read the words, I formulated a tweet in loving memory of Queen Elizabeth the ll. Adding, I hope, or I pray the World never asks so much of Someone again with all due Respect. Also adding I became a driver myself.
During my years as a driver to be honest I got so sick and tired of being approached with such remarks as "it is unusual to see a female driver" though I never planned it, I think one time I blurted out that the Queen was a driver in the war. From then on anybody who said that to me got a quick sharp lesson about the Queen having been a driver. I did that out of respect. Not only that, I always found it really weird, and very disrespectful that anyone dare say that to me anyway, but especially in the UK during the Queen's Reign.
I dare to continue with all due respect. I am neither a Royalist nor a Loyalist. It was my late Mothers interest, and my late Father's job which is really how I came to know there was a Royal Family. Growing up in Fulham SW6 we were close to Earls Court Exhibition Centre during the times when the Royal Tournament came to Town which we attended. It was nothing unusual if you were up at the break of dawn to see a procession of soldiers on horseback walking along nearby NORTHEND ROAD. One of my saving graces during my childhood was being sent to our next-door neighbour house at the times, who was a veteran Soldier. Probably, saved my life considering what went on in our house! Whilst we were not a military family. I do believe eventually there was family who grew up and signed up to the Army and Navy.
Queen Elizabeth the ll reign touched all our lives very closely at least in my generation. There were times when that was as celebratory, as it was deeply conflicting. I do remember my late Mother looking forward to her 25th Coronation.
As a Creative with a particular interest in Fashion. Films about the Queen were often a go to. However, as my life changed, and wherever my life was deliberately affected by having been stalked for many years, I found that going to that go to resulted in a particular possessiveness for having viewed such films.
As I sat watching the news. I do not know why. But as I had seen footage been shown from about the area of Nelsons Column toward the mall. From the filter of my own experience of unwanted attention, and years of other abuses. As I looked at what I was seeing, something moved and stirred within me, said something to me. Made me question myself, without wanting to be nosey or anything, as this is rhetorical self-questioning, and reflection, as a member of the public, having been through unwanted attentions. Though, as part of my work I chose to put myself out there. I just found myself asking about the years of sacrifice, and what that may have really meant, or otherwise mean. Asking that again due to the experiences I had. My concerns were having seen times when during the Queens reign the way coverage of her during her grief was.
As I got older with experiences I had behind me. I had long felt that as a public with all due respect to the powerful women the Queen was, and will be remembered as. I just personally felt without any proof of such, that far too much may at times have been asked of her in respect of her right to grief privately in her life, and with her family.
Especially, when I saw, and heard comments regarding footage which saw the Queen once she had made an appearance during grief, was then pictured in her car, as she must have just caught her breath, leaning against her husband only for a photographer to capture that moment. I sat there listening to this news footage, and could not believe what I was hearing.
For anyone who has been through any type of domestic abuses that whole incident would sound like disordered abusive behaviour, even if that image fed the photographer, and their family with all due respect.
The need, if there was one to get such an image. Seeing that play out from behind the filters, and through the lens of surviving abusers, and abuses such as stalkers the whole thing sounded, and felt very different to me. Especially, after studying Brain Health which has, and is opening up with me greater consideration for others. The need to have so much of someone just felt like beyond huge. The gravity of which I find almost incomprehensible, though I understand what type of commitment the Queen made to the UK, and the rest of the World.
Because of the way I express myself, and the kind of challenges, and experiences I have had. I thought just in case anything is taken out of context. (typo errors included!)
I decided to leave some understanding behind what I tweeted, and
My Sincere Condolences
May you all be Strengthened on all your continued journeys
A Freedom of Being!