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It is now April 2020 already give thanks!

When the world

When Life

calls us all to our notice or to pay attention

Even if as nations we collective go through experiencing the same situations and circumstances

there are just not enough words of comfort for all those who have lost their loved ones 

Corona virus sadly has seen many souls return home from this earth

Even though I do not have the words of wisdom or comfort at this time for the pain and suffering of all those who are in physical pain as a result of the corona Virus. I just without offence wanted to say i pray and hope you all be strong and well again. 

 

Also, I just wanted  to acknowledge and give a word of gratitude and thanks to everyone who is working tirelessly on the front line of this epidemic. Thank You!  Thank you! Thank you!

my words are not correct

I am sorry if my wording not being correct offends you!

The whole world feels like it is in a global reset

the whole world feels like it is in a global mindset reset

So quickly so many taken

So much changes

So instantly the financial impact

Global mind reset!

In loving memory of all those who returned to their souls

May you soar beyond your wildest dreams and may all who remain do the same!

Take care all and everyone!

Please follow the advice in this link to stay safe: https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/coronavirus-covid-19-list-of-guidance

natural flowism

a freedom of being! 

 

 

 

Fanaticism Passage 27 

Cover...
^
The world has come on a bit since the beginning of inventions
They invented the pound which will have absolutely no value if produced in high quanity which will allow just about anybody to live abundantly if printed made easy?!
Seriously!
Are you gonna tell no one has caught on to the biggest sadistic murderous trick known to man?
Money
^
Of all the things the world has invented you gonna tell all this time no one can come up with a Monterey  system that will not devalue due to quantity or scale?
^
In this whole amount of time with people walking and running fast fast with brief case busy busy in the city not starting only speaking the middle
"If we print print like that the value of currency will go down
Instead of looking at how much time that has gone by creating lack like fact!!
^
Its the same vexations I am having with my own inner self in my own personal worls whilst deep in thankfulness and gratitude know that without any doubt but as well this is not just me its on the mind of many!
^
Fucking eeking and peetering it out like funking bird fucking food and the forest is still fricking full of it
Everybody's is talking in the middle the currency value is gonna go down well that was back then how well healed was anybody back then?
You would fink if it got fucking started as what it is it can change from what it is I can't understand how that is not some first flip?
It seems like such an ignigma to me
That those with a much quicker and clearer brain processing and mind function just wouldn't see divide and conquer from devalue to appreciating values?
Of this is not comprehensive cooperate fact or knowledge 
Its part of a simple poetry book
^
All the things which has been invented up until now that has changed all our lives and yet still...
...something feels like it has snapped and it can so easy-ish to change
Not that creating a financial construction or infrastructure is easy not that I would know
But what has become of money  does not have to be so brain and soul destroying either.
^
Boy, I don't know what has come over me but this has been with me for some time. 
^
Since seeing certain boundaries just thrown down toward my life
Things on a personal level I did not mean to allow happen but had no strength to do anything else or allow certain individuals to get away with violations against me which should have been followed up and through a correct system. If you do stop serial sex offenders they become more angry and possibly even more subtle but it never just ends there unfortunately 
^
Its strength and behaviour patterns which get all tied up 
And now its mens rea
And maybe as well that it may also be that brunette man on the tube train all those years ago as I was going up down and around town getting to work who sat with a large baggy coat feathered neck length hair blatantly holding a brand new pack of what looked like minted money sat across from me looking focused but daze was he trying to show me something so obvious about what world change is?
^
I dare you!
^
I dare you to see flip it change it and stop talking about what isn't as if is!
^
Just for being a Poet of sorts theres back lash misinterpretation, the how dare she! Possessiveness's over expression...but hey!
^

Fanaticism pt 9 

Originally Added to blogger 11/11/2020/11:30
^
I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent and surrender to the forgiveness purpose and power life is!
^
Thou Shalt not Leave!
^
Set out feeling great
Driving along enjoying the sound of the engine, the wind blowing, or some fine music 
Minding my own pretty business
But the cars start lingering in the mirror
Driving slower
Then a feeling comes over
Feels like puffs of air rising or swiping down across your face
You still ani't taking any notice because your driving and trying to do what is road safe
Cars suspiciously waiting driving 
A Yellow Van 
An energy swathing begins occurring
The next thing you know you are struggling to stay awake behind the wheel whilst driving!
Forced to fall asleep
^
There is a long line of traffic driving in the same lane behind you
Lengths and lengths of long trucks
But you observe one driver with their lights too high or too bright
That driver keeps pulling out and flashing lights
You try to ignore it but it keeps happening and then you start to feel you energy changing
Forced to change again
Because someone is practicing something in the belief it will never be identified as someone else
^
A jealously of such hate
Which can never congratulate
A jealously of such hate
Which hates anyone who can graduate
A jealously of such hate
Which will concoct and derive a way to destroy in such away that evidence will only ever point at one perceived as a victim and equally as a survivor for ignoring the aims of the one so jealous!
^
Driving down the road again
And many will try claim  something is wrong with the state you are in
Stressed out and traumatised, yes!
Terrified even to be left not earning after the years jealously managed to find their way into destroying what the mundane and boring where doing to make a living!
But they had to get into destroy everything
How dare she leave and seek better from education or any job place and most of all my life!
^
But you will be to blame if it is not seen or realised that this is the work of possible levels of highly psychiatric illnesses
It is not that you are without compassion 
But this continues on because of where the levels began
It is hard to have to speak out against someone
It is hard to forced to speak out against a regime
It is hard to be one person forced into a position to have to stand up to an entire institution which also holds or has at one time held within it abusive beliefs and systems!
^
Thou Shall Leave a State of Fear for a Love which will always understand no guilt will ever abide where illness is left to thrive!
^
Driving down the road
Poked prodded shoved
By energy derived from illnesses or the necessity to resist
Feeling forced to use your imagination to match the hate sent into your system
Where you are driving down the road and again feel woozy after the driver of the red car infront is lingering and watching you as you drive past crackit lane
Waiting and gauging for when the "sleep now" command can go in
^
Excerpt from up and coming book

Fanaticism! 
To be published
Amazon kdp
www.naturalflowism.com

 



The Obvious... 

I swear the thing about the obvious is that everybody or almost everybody sees it but maybe just maybe not everybody can say it, because it is obvious

It is lined up perfectly 
Because it is obvious
But it begs something which is obviously obvious whilst not yet being obvious obviously!
 
Something happened around me in such away I know it was something of someone obvious yet it has possibly morphed into something of someone doing what they do less obviously 

I was fine alert and awake
Then felt a very fine slight movement of air swipe from top left of my face and as if it was pull down to the bottom right of my face toward my jaw as a car emerged from the service station to merge with the flow of motorway traffic

But upon approach my thoughts turned to suddenly being filled with dread of being forced to feel drowsy when it is not what I am feeling really. Yet if you know a regular occurrence will occur it is obviously wise to be prepared but not so obvious to confirm that us an attacker lagging behind as they wait and gauge their approach which will leave being yanked and dragged and feeling battered just for doing the work you need which matters.

There are halls and corridors filled of those which suffer the most horrendous ills whilst causing the most cruel and dreadful skilled in appearance distracting their obvious inability to have any kind and healthy  intention 

Many visit and work with the Intention of healing and being kind
I was one of them at one point in time. But I was too immature to look back to see who would have seen me or noted me in my blind empathy to know what cruelty would do when kindness is shown. 

It is much more obvious now 
Because years of experience has forced me to wake up to the multiple tricks of distraction easily preyed upon whilst I try to prioritise my focus and attention

It is obvious
But it leaves an obvious thing
Something which leaves the obvious less obvious yet obviously present
^
Natural Flowism 
^
A Freedom of Being!
^






 






Woke up remembering... 

Though enjoying being in public places had been made uncomfortable 

I remember being just fine until that helicopter began rising and my mind and head began spinning with messages like: your not staying
Shouldn't you be going?

Today when I remember I hear things sentences like: ...and I went and paid him - the make things impossible payments

Now, i am not stating any facts or laying any claim to such payments existing or such action of being true!

I just remember feeling instantly unhappy with and without fully consciously realising or properly processing feelings of feeling violated and attempts at public humiliation whilst internally terrorized in public and in private!

They laughed
I have laughed
I know different laughs
Was so in pain
I laughed till others felt shame 
Learnt from the years I was laughed at beyond just feeling humiliated and I still grew up to laugh when young too immature to realise the illness excessive laughter can be and the long lasting negative effects it can sustain on certain vulnerable citizens.

They laughed
With beautiful white teeth smiles
On bended knee
Sporty
Were they real?
I was so steeped in spiritualism at the time
Looking back it feels like they were hiding somebody
Bad reputation 
Theres me living trying to get to normal by writing and eventually sharing my personal initmate diaries for my own self-healing only to find the years when I was under the age of consent below the age of a child sexually abused all those years where being used to again abuse me for being loose!

Yes as an adult you have your responsibility to take and decisions to make
But I will write again
It takes years to wake up and become knowing and strong when abuse has been relentlessly maintained by abusers who cannot heal or run from what they have done

That pond
Those ducks
Those swans
The stories they must be able tell
The Gardens
The Park
Still to this day has been the everyday get out 
In my younger days it was where I thought I had dreamt up a freer life 
Away from religious restrictions
It was where speakers spoke
And hippies often shared kisses
The park is where I would go heartbroken by exes and career choices and job loses frustrated by my own lack 
Sit witless be approached by male stranger and end up experiencing chewing gum kisses 
Left me feeling completely insulted and down graded nothing romantic 
Each and every time
No love
Unexpected liaisons I still hadn't learnt to avoid!
The lushness of nature shaped into a park
The perils of the abused as they try to learn how to find the level of love they need for their own hearts to heal!
Especially when so often Love is confused as sex lust and desire
As though as easy as looking at flowers to attain
In peace I remember this refrain
But a little voice says to me...you should have gone back to sleep until you could get up without remembering anything!
^
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^







Waking Up feeling... 

Corrected Version
Too many years stolen stuck thinking
Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions 
Too many years spent being followed everyday
By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!

A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change 
Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain
The people want
The people need
The people read
But are the people all good
Or are they sick with greed or wrong needs?
Are the people injured 
Or full of dis-ease 
About what they think they need or want to see or read?
So why feed?

Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen
Though thankfully some good and informative information has been chosen
Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons 

A stalker is a stalker
Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours

Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!

Because sooner or later
A person with such behaviours
Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!
 


Too much time....
&
Too many years.... 

Thank God they sat there saying 
Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing

There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings
Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^


Unedited Version
Too many years stolen stuck thinking
Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions 
Too many years spent being followed everyday
By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!

A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change 
Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain
The people want
The people need
The people read
But are the people or good
Or they sick with greed or wrong needs?
Are the people injured 
Or full of dis-ease 
About what they think they need or want to see or read?
So why feed?

Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen
Though some good and informative information has been chosen
Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons 

A stalker is a stalker
Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours

Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!

Because sooner or later
A person with such behaviours
Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!
 


Too much time....
&
Too many years.... 

Thank God they sat they saying 
Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing

There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings
Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^

Freedom and Love Thankfully Grateful not because you have lied something else means you cannot fully say! 

I am so Thankfully Grateful and Blessed as I Repent and Surrender to the Forgiveness Purpose and Power Life is!

Every time I look around
Someone is affected
Even by not being affected 
Some how even that is connected

This morning gratefully I woke up and asked myself what haven't you been saying or writing?

For me 
I have taken my creatively written self-healung everywhere I think it should go
From love to hate
From kindness to wickedness and back again to freedom and love
But you know even though I have shared and created so much in as much honesty as I can
The truth is alot of what I have written about still has lengths and miles of things I would really like to say but feel I cannot
It is as much as I can do
Is to get some parts of it out of my system each day week or month etc
But when I really ask myself is that everything I was even surprised by myself when the answer was no!

As complaining as I feel I have been forced to be. Something is still tellung me I have not complained or advised appropriately to possibly affect a change in situations which have deeply changed and sadly even affected the way of my being.
All of that at times feels like a danger almost lurks beneath after years of being mistaken for possibly being somebody else or by anothers perception of who you really are.

It is sad but true among the wrong mindset speaking about the way you respond to life and others can mean the difference of someone believing they can blame you for all wrong doing without feeling any shame or responsibility about their own behaviour.

Self Awareness
Self Searching
Self Healing
Is not a freedom for all to blame you because you can look at your own behaviours actions reactions and responses and own them.

Responding to this mornings wake up call which very gently and lovingly ask me to search myself and at least know that as much time that is given sharing must for me personally hold the realisation of what is not being written from the total depth of my being. The really crux that would more than likely pull the feeling of disappearing moments and lost days into the open where they belong to be dealt with properly to the point they will not continually return to consistently haunt me.

I have put enough on myself to achieve change and turn around in my own private world. I must admit I have been ill prepared for how my own private energy goals and desires would connect or manifest externally. 

Through anyone person we see or feel one of lifes blessings and challenges is to know and learn if what we see or if what we are told is in the proportion to the real truth if it were ever told.
^
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^
Freedom and Love!
^

The Unknown iRate Detective interrupts a form of prayer! 

Dear God

A mind seems stuck on returning to thoughts of someone it has never known, why?

"Because it was supposed" TUiD interrupts a time of prayer

It is known there is a diagnosis but diagnosis is not felt as a diagnosis yet within that also is a diagnosis that begs the question as to how can freedom be obtain from such a diagnosis?

Filled ego and diagnosis wax lyrical about no love as they cry in heartbreak of all they cannot any longer see or feel

We remain together in a refrain where never the twain shall meet or be seen 
We never existed 
Yet we feel but not yet freely
For we are trapped above and from beneath
Yet we are not linked except some tries to perceive a link as a result of a diagnosis at which time they will perceive to unify things and people where absolutely none could ever exist!

"Get in your stalker bit or should I say?" TUiD

Silence

"Ok...then....heres the odd bits she turns up again like a sideways canter who is it?...fuck knows....that last time it was the sideways canter to waving card board opposite the airport on the A40 seemed like a replica outfit from time spent delivering on the back of a Class 2 in 2002 called to a job last minute.  What is the need for all this can't say feckry? They are people being sucked into behind the scenes of things they want nothing to do with. They mean no harm they just want to pick up and keep moving on but...maybe all of this leads back to the old days when there were fewer nosey people asking to see into this and that and those that did get involved knew what they were getting involved in because it was what they wanted or it was who they fell in love with!  It was about less sick people allowed to pretend they were in love because true love does not produced statics of domestic violence or other abuses....to fuck this blud clart got everybody out...and thats the same for the cuntavirus who sets up shop only around the low paid...back in the day they used to put you through yah money and you have only just got paid. Because the flipping cunt used to be thinking up ways of how you could spend yah money before you even left your work on pay day.... thought of how many rounds of cups of tea you should buy everytime somebody does something on the same job they are already getting paid to do, then just to keep your wages you have got to be able outwit and get passed the market stall of things to buy before you get home to yah partner and kids with nothing left for food and bills...i tell yah back in the day they had you set up proper...and if you dare walked passed their pub where they had all their beers on tab you'd get laughed into the ground for being too tight...it was though you and your family meant nothing!" TUiD

Dear Father

We pray for the strength to find a healthy way out of out diagnoses cuntavirus and otherwise or stupid!
^
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^

Somewhere in this Love is Freedom and Bliss! 

Ever heard of them that can become so jealous in their behaviour toward you that dare you mention abuse or your feelings from their abuse anything said or done will only ever be ruinous to the point of to have any compassion or understanding for someone who had become so poisoned it eventually becomes safer to show yourself as feeling nothing for them at all, it is an unimaginable state of relationship to ever have to face

I wake up gratefully in what feels like a dual heartbreak. The impossibility  of love reminds me of where my life first began

As I wake thankful and grateful for my life I feel like my head is in a bind and turn to cleansing meditations for a sick home to cleanse the water and to clean and protect the third eye psychically 

I never grew up knowing or understanding anything about third eye, the chakra system, meditation despite going to church and learning to pray.  The first worldly thing that captured my imagination as an alternative form of guidance other than the God and the Bible was astrology and astrologers. I lived in years of guilt and fear as I became hooked on their guidance beginning  the journey from child rape survivor into a woman hoping to find love not realising all I will eventually do is meet no mutual love at all. Passing fancy. Forced proclamations of Love but in the true sense of it all nothing except the greatest love of all that I too found within me and Motherhood

I didn't realise that in deciding to share my inner world thoughts and feelings that work would be listed as critical. It certainly is not how I see myself or what I do but I woke on the  afternoon somehow feeling like I had broke new ground

Women become men to fulfil themselves or for the varying reasons necessary some sadly so they can continue the abuse against women and vice versa though this is not fully true or comprehensive it comes to me again and again even though I would prefer to find alternative breakthroughs from an ongoing truth of abuse I don't quite know what including that here is supposed to be about, or do if anything at all

That world which says its all on you
That diagnosis which says it must be you 
Because those who suffer from it are too weak to release you or be truly released or free
The guilt of someone who could do nothing more than try to use me and keep me trapped in their need to distract from what really creates happy

The years of someone elses innate fear that made sure they were here there and everywhere to make sure there was no one else I could tell or nowhere I could go to escape their guilty need for control

It has been an all out terror of those screaming the truth on an everyday wage which cannot compare to the investment made to silence those screams till they dissipate, all of this has never just been about me you suffer if you cannot love or heal though it may not seem so in the presence of the ego and its bravardo

Underneath for those of us who continue to live normally adjusting to what circumstances maybe we understanding that is what true freedom and bliss even as we are forced to watch the plans of cruelty and wickedness trying to be free without any independence of you and me
^
Natural Flowism
A Freedom of Being!
^