TuneCore/Songtradr

My Condolences for the Sad passing of Queen Elizabeth the ll

IN LOVING MEMORY OF QUEEN ELIZABETH THE II and HER HUSBAND

I am sorry if the following is not said in the best or most sensitive way, or with the right words. I am an expressionist, and the best I can do is share an honest account of any experience I have had in life which has moved me beyond, all belief. 

On the 9th of September 2022. I arrived home after doing my local run around about 20:00 just happened to be scrolling through my you tube subscriptions, and saw the news.  Queen Elizabeth the II had sadly passed away. I sat down silently screaming No...no...no...to myself.  By the time I saw the Queen's Son King Charles the III signing, I lost it. I sat looking and realised what I had witnessed in my life. It was so huge, and such a feat of humanity. I was so moved I could not think. Whilst everyone else was offering condolences, I found myself hash tagging Thank You! not to be rude. My brain just couldn't function and think of what I else I should say. I was just stunned, and shocked, as completely selfish as that is, and sounds. 

I woke up on the 17th of September 2022 I thought I was under the Thames. I wiped my eyes and realised I was thankfully on dry land. Before I hash tagged thank you, I had been love hearting peoples posts on Instagram who had thankfully offered condolences.

As I woke, I could hear the hymn "have thine own way, Lord" again in true expressionism as I read the words, I formulated a tweet in loving memory of Queen Elizabeth the ll. Adding, I hope, or I pray the World never asks so much of Someone again with all due Respect. Also adding I became a driver myself.  

During my years as a driver to be honest I got so sick and tired of being approached with such remarks as "it is unusual to see a female driver" though I never planned it, I think one time I blurted out that the Queen was a driver in the war. From then on anybody who said that to me got a quick sharp lesson about the Queen having been a driver. I did that out of respect. Not only that, I always found it really weird, and very disrespectful that anyone dare say that to me anyway, but especially in the UK during the Queen's Reign. 

I dare to continue with all due respect. I am neither a Royalist nor a Loyalist. It was my late Mothers interest, and my late Father's job which is really how I came to know there was a Royal Family. Growing up in Fulham SW6 we were close to Earls Court Exhibition Centre during the times when the Royal Tournament came to Town which we attended.  It was nothing unusual if you were up at the break of dawn to see a procession of soldiers on horseback walking along nearby NORTHEND ROAD. One of my saving graces during my childhood was being sent to our next-door neighbour house at the times, who was a veteran Soldier. Probably, saved my life considering what went on in our house! Whilst we were not a military family. I do believe eventually there was family who grew up and signed up to the Army and Navy. 

Queen Elizabeth the ll reign touched all our lives very closely at least in my generation. There were times when that was as celebratory, as it was deeply conflicting. I do remember my late Mother looking forward to her 25th Coronation.  

As a Creative with a particular interest in Fashion. Films about the Queen were often a go to. However, as my life changed, and wherever my life was deliberately affected by having been stalked for many years, I found that going to that go to  resulted in a particular possessiveness for having viewed such films. 

As I sat watching the news. I do not know why. But as I had seen footage been shown from about the area of Nelsons Column toward the mall. From the filter of my own experience of unwanted attention, and years of other abuses. As I looked at what I was seeing, something moved and stirred within me, said something to me. Made me question myself, without wanting to be nosey or anything, as this is rhetorical self-questioning, and reflection, as a member of the public, having been  through unwanted attentions. Though, as part of my work I chose to put myself out there. I just found myself asking about the years of  sacrifice, and what that may have really meant, or otherwise mean. Asking that again due to the experiences I had. My concerns were having seen times when during the Queens reign the way coverage of her during her grief was.

As I got older with experiences I had behind me. I had long felt that as a public with all due respect to the powerful women the Queen was, and will be remembered as. I just personally felt without any proof of such, that far too much may at times have been asked of  her in respect of her right to grief privately in her life, and with her family.

Especially, when I saw, and heard comments regarding footage which saw the Queen once she had made an appearance during grief, was then pictured in her car, as she must have just caught her breath, leaning against her husband only for a photographer to capture that moment. I sat there listening to this news footage, and could not believe what I was hearing.

For anyone who has been through any type of domestic abuses that whole incident would sound like disordered abusive behaviour, even if that image fed the photographer, and their family with all due respect.

The need, if there was one to get such an image. Seeing that play out from behind the filters, and through the lens of surviving abusers, and abuses such as stalkers the whole thing sounded, and felt very different to me. Especially, after studying Brain Health which has, and is opening up with me greater consideration for others. The need to have so much of someone just felt like beyond huge. The gravity of which I find almost incomprehensible, though I understand what type of commitment the Queen made to the UK, and the rest of the World.

Because of the way I express myself, and the kind of challenges, and experiences I have had. I thought just in case anything is taken out of context.  (typo errors included!)
I decided to leave some understanding behind what I tweeted, and

My Sincere Condolences 
May you all be Strengthened on all your continued journeys 

Natural Flowism 

A Freedom of Being! 
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BLOG HOUSE

It is now April 2020 already give thanks!

When the world

When Life

calls us all to our notice or to pay attention

Even if as nations we collective go through experiencing the same situations and circumstances

there are just not enough words of comfort for all those who have lost their loved ones 

Corona virus sadly has seen many souls return home from this earth

Even though I do not have the words of wisdom or comfort at this time for the pain and suffering of all those who are in physical pain as a result of the corona Virus. I just without offence wanted to say i pray and hope you all be strong and well again. 

 

Also, I just wanted  to acknowledge and give a word of gratitude and thanks to everyone who is working tirelessly on the front line of this epidemic. Thank You!  Thank you! Thank you!

my words are not correct

I am sorry if my wording not being correct offends you!

The whole world feels like it is in a global reset

the whole world feels like it is in a global mindset reset

So quickly so many taken

So much changes

So instantly the financial impact

Global mind reset!

In loving memory of all those who returned to their souls

May you soar beyond your wildest dreams and may all who remain do the same!

Take care all and everyone!

Please follow the advice in this link to stay safe: https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/coronavirus-covid-19-list-of-guidance

natural flowism

a freedom of being! 

 

 

 

Invisible Bruises  

I'm trying to be OK
About the hours that go by
Blood pressure levels teach me to rest
Whilst my mind wants to stay focused on my bucket list
It's OK to sit and rest
Trying to soothe away the silent invisible bruises
It can be hard to redirect all the challenging ideas in my imagination
Go, go flex I hate to admit it
Ny mind is just not in coordination with flexibility or even health and healing at the moment
What horrible tale has your mind come up with next?
No tale just a memory of around about the beginning of the millennium
When I did not realise I may have been threatened
The possible subtlety of the dictation of punishment themed on somebody
No one would guess there is a fantasy to over throw those with creativity
Someone wants to get them in
They begin forms of highly covert Intimidations before they really settle into formations
We made you our mascot in our heads
Match but don’t confess
Stratagem
So now
That is how they play their jest
People living their most ordinary best lives, are not left to be their best but are attacked by every attempt to pull them toward those with little resistance or defiance to living in subterfuge!
And again nobody appears to suspect
Because not everyone knows what everyone has said!

HOUSE of FLOWISM LtD 

It can be like all the dinners you never had getting started at something especially with art, and in design...and the amount of time it can take. 

You can get starred but suppose something just does not take, or feel right but you just cannot see why? 

Life can make you self conscious enough without being an artist on top of that! 

Suppose it takes you forever to resonate with your own works because your life has you snagged into dealing with abusers like stalkers, Internet trolls, burglars, or bad marriage break ups, unscrupulous business partners, and on top of that world crisises, and if you are flat out broke how are you ever going to find the strength or space in your mind to emotionally connect, attract and drive success to all you do. 

All you have been through can be as inspiring  as it is uninspiring to others. 

In the midst of making something appealing, your works or you may come across as unappealing to others.

A Combination of all these things has become part of my negotiation through different mediums, and materials.
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Presents 
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HOUSE of Flowism LtD
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#laviniadeayr
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Stalker With What? 

The Firms Man's Got it Really Bad!
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Where the Freedom and Love at?
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She couldn't bare to lose them
Not her to him
Or
Him to her
Even though the two people had never really known each other except in her fear of losing control of herself!
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Toxic boundaries come first in this tale of a woman who turned everybody else’s life into her personal merch
As she and her gang stalked driving against the motorway central reservation, as they drive along looking up. I fall asleep and made it blatant!
Forearm to hand lifted in the air
Time and time again from yard to fuel station forecourt
Following closely behind
Stuck around my life
Forearm to hand lifted in the air
Thrown into a daze?
I fall into a fall sleep feeling again, and again, and again. 
Can barely stay awake at home.
No cups or cards done
But I have slept till tired year after year after
Cannot get enough of much done
Why after so many years of domestic abuse will it feel like no one would believe there is a stalker, an abuser, who will teach others to in general knock people out in the strangest of circumstances and have them seen as sleeping which is a convenience researched and created by someone who has remained stuck on cosy afternoon naps, unable to cope with the reality of the professional world.
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“Hear my world” is the child abusers stifled cry
A child abused who still abuses as that child!
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Oddments of Poetry Trying to detect Freedom and Love! 

The Detection of Freedom and Love in...
Love Cruelty Fear Freedom 
A Blog of Alternative Personal Coarse Work!
Research Poetry Questionnaire (1)
What is love?
Safety in something you feel and say?
What isn’t love?
Danger in something you ball up as dangerous Energy projecting and impacting someone so violently distressing them because they don't feel the same way?
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Energy Exploration 
Alternative Coarse Work: No Need for Experimentation(it has already been done!) (2)
Energy can work in conjunction with a persons mind, perception, and physical health to crack wood, and create many other destructions, what are the myriad of disguises used on the unsuspecting?
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What are the Componenants of Feeling Freedom and Love 
[This is An Alternative  form of informal personal internal study](3)
What is the feeling of freedom and love?
What am I more likely to feel, or relate the feeling too if I could switch out what my mind went through during abuse?
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This is Alternative Course Work Research Poetry!(4)
No fear
Living inwardly and outwardly
Trust and the truth feeling and looking as good as fresh air and Fresh Clear Water tasty as a meal of Clear Water Fish 
Respect and enjoyment for the gift of healthy communication, and speech?
Respect for intention and intellect when used for the healing purposes, and for the good of all concerned?
Strength to live in complete and utter truth every moment of every millisecond, minute, hour, day, month, and year
The respect for the truthful ways of true construction, with absolutely no negative limitations
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Short Story Poetry(5)
Accuracy: 
Taken on as a wife nothing matched
8The alignment of words with actions without any other type of attachment
It was a marriage of the quite contrite!
He who had been a good wife
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Remote Evil Research Poetry(6)
Would you believe that such a thing can be devised?
Yet again I am here not scared to say utter over, and over again.
This not just about the smoking curses at M6 junction with the A34
This is about years of planning 
Years of need to devise anything and everything not to let go
Must Control
Must have Hold
Cab you do your job with your eyes closed?
Visions of a comparative test
Can we sit and watch from a far how our project upon thee will have your eyes rolling in the back of your as though your are Satan’s Cabbaged Whisky 
I love thee
You may think your mind screams
I love thee
But why the need for so much when in person the absolutely no feelings of care, neither feelings of Love
With too many coincidences and incidents of things gone wrong in the name of love for someone which only feels like live to the one who proclaims it
Feels like almost a life time of somebody else’s gang always coming out from remote crevices to check on how effective their evil deeds have become!
Rapes so Evil it clothed and closed the minds, and hearts of so many 
Why the harsh truths of the brutal abuse upon innocence hurts and closes  the minds of so many
Too painful a burden for anyone to care a lost generation stuck on let’s pretend make belief.
But for one who cannot afford to allow the escaped to be free and continually get a way due to their vacuous need for control...bruised a nation created a no love state then went hell for leather on remote control slinging  it all in as Energy bombs anything to divert attention from the mistakes that had been their perfect covers for years....beat in the head so much left to deal with as too high on drugs now trying to mess with legal ways as an adult with lower school mental age.
A person life’s story so cruel and so sad nobody dear touch them or clean a way the savages that follow them about everyday waiting for next mogul who they are convinced is about to pay out....this after stolen residencies, a whole families fortune. Now all the con merchants are tighter that shit on a stick?
Where is all the love and freedom in all of this?
Which sentences or bit of poetry conjures up the closes fit?
No answers on a postcard 

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These are Creative Works

Created by Lavinia De Ayr

@naturalflowismstudios
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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Still Bugging and its been years of.... 

For the express attention of Detective Rivington Smythe...but further up the road!


TN  drives passed me and a rip is felt in the lower back part of my head just above my neck on the right side of my head. X.
It alters me
Is someone jealous of me or them?
Ovv tries to work on me
They continue to try to work on Me along the M25
Its been since South Africa...
There is a white line in the sky that flies away after TN has driven  by
I arrive Washington no dome twenty seventh November twenty-twenty one after nine am
Puddle dog right ear pulled
Pedestrian crossing just past Ealing toward hanger lane
Sea shells 
Broadway smells
As a gang of stalkers antics are covered by scientific money collecting churches
Somebody got famous and that carried through as though that endorsed all what stalkers can do!
It is as if success is hiding riveting abuse only to the sadist and misogynist who enjoy seeing a person constantly forced to find ways to survive their abuse!
Patrols few would recognise as such
A kidnapped life style few would recognise as such
They’ve always known they had it all 
They watch as another generation in society only just wakes up to what has been going on all along. 
Cover after cover
Slowly comes off
Killers must have thought they walked off scot free 
Free as a bird  until new understandings about the causes of mental health made their alibies unfurl which catapults plans to rage chaos attempts to rage wars so they will never get caught again just because she done in a friend?
Whose on the mend?
They raise false hope as they lay claims of a wedding and spread
False rumours about a romance which will never take effect is spread to have the effect of abusing people to be submissive to a cause from which they cannot repent. They did no wrong but must be kept on.
Whilst medical conditions prevail feels like a cult?  has devised a way to lay grip onto a persons body? Here's that story:
Ten Fifty Eight Zero Four
Paid for goods on the Twenty Seventh of November Twenty -  Twenty One. Echo Four Eight Sierra Tango maybe? I could feel it. Energy puffing away my lower back begins to feel gathered getting tighter and tighter till its is difficult for me to move, and almost breathe uf it had carried on! As i walked away from paying for my goods i brush the energy down from my back as i walk away! 
Again it reinforces the cruelty and level of control there has continued to be in my life. I cannot think of anything i am doing apart from getting in with my life which will raise the need for that level of oppressive control over me which another attempts to be. These are patterns that i now realise began to be  raised possibly as far back as two thousand and three. But yet something else reminds me of the cruelty that had always been even before the age of three!
^
To date someone who has never been stalked is unknown to me
To know or have interacted with anyone who has not struggled to get out of a marriage or from someone is unknown to me!

Raising a child in the middle and all the way through campaigns of stalking is known to me!
^
For this to be the case hoos effect treatment possibly  may not be in place?
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Natural Flowism 
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A Freedom of Being!
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Attached Until they or until we allUnderstand? 

Whether you reach here by lamb or fowl...the world unfolds be it good or bad.
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Cover ups become uncovered if your life has the span
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After living for a  long enough time society as it is can seem like a carefully contrived plan to blight the belief in good health and freedom adventure and no need for no good restrictions!
Why did we believe in the projectionist who can project illness and no doubt possibly  contrived a plan that will not vibrate toward the manifestation  of health!
Stress and what stress is
Who would have thought
Certainly no me 
That years after feeling the weight and pressurs of taking on what feels like everybody else crap that if you can become mentally strong enough somehow you can employ your own imagination to throw it all back. Only that which does not belong to you, of course!
Some people have the gift of freedom to not accept what is not there. But sadly so.many of never realised what was being done to us ...therefore we became mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financial sick because we had no means of immediatelly recognising what was not ours. Therefore it stayed with us as ours instead of being returned to sender!
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Nobody but a few would believe these things called curses can actually speak and move out and a way from you.
Considered babble amongst the wrong set
But unless you can understand a level of assault of attachment planned and carried out against  someone to be effective whilst they are conscious or sub-conscious in board day light and by night remotely and otherwise. The attachment created and that person spoken about as a something which is a belongjng of the attacher.
By goat or curry they cannot see of feel like as freedom and love for everybody.
And sadly they are not wrong within them something has gone attachment becomes their main function.

Natural  Flowism
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A Freedom of Being!
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#laviniadeayr


Wooden Shiplap 

Coming down the M40
All I could hear is:
Pile dick or piles of dicks
Shoved in the blue
The crutch took it
The obsession of projection
The belief their projection game is where riches were made
Projection till they touch the spot meant you could control everyone!
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It hatched more than just a plot and plan
Driving down ths motorway
Vile 
I could my breast being felt
Have to use my imagination  over and over again because somebody's gran father got lucky with somebody's titties!
Now they try it over and over again
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Cup cake looking bobble hats
Worn off the crown of the head
Threat of the mamagram?
As arms are lifted so my paranoid imagination feels stretched too
I have got to get it out
I have got to get it out
Not just the red wax incest man believed by others to be stuffed up inside of me
But the threat of the mamagram man
And the yellow jacket gang!


Are their Grabbing you're Crutches too? 

1st Incidents
Tbey cruise by
You're  on road
All of a sudden you're seat feels: A cluck 
A punch 
A pull
A bunch of breeze
Behind near you're  low back
A feeling of clamp
3.5ton weight
Bowels feel inflated 
Another plot
BUT FROM WHERE?
Another strange experience.which remains unstated who would believe you?
It is hard to know what others see when they see you
More feelings ir sensation of somekind of sexual type feeling
So easy to take the blame upon yourself
But no other sensatuon was happening until they come driving toward flashing their light with all tbis underground nasty shit happening!
At times every single car that passes
So....who  is paying to have the other roads airmarked as closure?
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Could imagine a plot so wicked?
The need to abuse one person or one family
A decision made?
Or someone's worsening condition?
Had a plot or plan for somebody life and that of their children to get in and amongst everything they are created or inherited
An obsession that went along with everything?
^
The decision to forced ithers to feel exactly they do not want to feel. Something they spent developing and funding
But what are they really grabbing?
What gossip are they truly creating?
The gift of word guzzled and appreciated
Why not just drive by without any clinging needs created under the of the guise friendship whilst fulling the needs of assaulting?
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There are memory prompts on road to drive safe and so on, and so forth
There are memory prompts and warnings if thieves operate in an area. But where are theives memories prompts or early lessons?
For instance....
Remember: to leave things where they are since they do not belong to you!
2. Belongings left unattended is not an "opportunity" for you!
3. The vehicle you are driving is a potential weapon do not do anything to any other driver to cause an altered state of mind!
Can memory prompts from social orgnisation who have the monopoly on crime and behaviour put an end to those who face daily, hourly, or moment to moment assault?
Do pupils who were forced unto schools for delinquents have to pay the price for the rest of their lives?
Anybody else sick and tired of the amount of power that appears to be or given to stalkers,  if any of this could give rise to any truth?
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Natural Flowism 
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A Freedom of Being!
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Their Substance! 

When he finally comes to you
FROM WHERE?
FROM WHERE?
Candles lit
You're dressed all slick
Hair so neat
Straight like bedsheet
He comes to you...
FROM WHERE?
FROM WHERE?
You're  dressed  up
And all stressed out 
Been waiting to see him
But where has he been?
You"ve been tbrough it all
Thought of it all
Why?
Why?
He's done his rounds
And tonight it's  you're  turn
Glossy video inspire this

Songstress's sing about it
Industry makes trillions from it
It appears to be the most popular thing
His manipulation and addiction if that is what it is connected deep into you're emotions or you're addictiveness and many others like you...got you all in it together


Just another substance he's become used to taking!
When he/they finally come to you....
FROM WHERE? 
FROM WHERE?
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom  of Being!
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At the Delinquency! 

Wasted to many years just thinking!
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Probably the best thing you can tell the universe is, i do not know how!
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Possibly one of the biggest health lessons from the universe is with what kind of thinking!
Its a big one which takes some soul searching to get done!
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Has the meteorite arrived?
As what sounds like nosey garden dwellers prey on the thoughts in the mind?
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A bunch of women tried to turn man to get away with their crimes
Leaving in their wake confusion and feelings of falsehood of some kind!
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Has the meteorite arrived?
As my mind still twists and turns painfully on what and why?
I hate to admit it
I have hated to admit it
Even though to some it maybe clear to see or feel
But part of the catalogue of errors left within me after a life time of trying to self-heal from abuses (because the wrong type therapist can leave you with even more damages to overcome) is: intrusive unwanted thoughts!
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i've always known im an empty head so to speak!
The problem came again or really became noticeable to me yet again in 2003.
Wool pulled over the eyes saw me afflicted with rotary thought yet again an adverse effect for turning up and working but a bad decision had been made on my part due to few good available choices on the path I had chosen...but today it appears somebody lay hidden seen or known by everybody else....but not by me as i was too busy  concentrating on Motherhood not somebody who stood by somebody else imfamously or famously. I was sadly too deep in debt with the costs of lone parenting to be bothered about another delinquent who just could get over another possible person sick with promiscuity and too ill with the sick and violating treatment of others and the inability to say no to their own damage worst of all whilst reminiscing on my name whilst seeing me, my life, my child’s life as something to speak of with hatred; condescension and the most degrading of shame! Had i moved beyond the events of primary school again! As today my life feels like constant intimidation of obsessed nosiness from queues at the chemist to home intruders and ongoing trespass of years gone by. Admittedly,  I moved from abuses without many people being told why but now it has been more than 30 years gone by and something has unsettled everything and everyone!
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Why didn't “we” as society not set up effective filter programs: infant from home to nursery checked for possible parental/caregiver/guardian damage?
From: nursery to primary thorough checked for possible repair and training and treatment....and so on and so on right the way up through the system of education wouldn't society in general be irrevocably changed? Would their be less crime and suffering because so much behaviour and other problems will be detected earlier on? Wouldn't many of us be less targeted by the sensitive or bully in the class room coming back or resurfacing in our lives because suffering from what we did we laughed wrong at the wrong moment but then moved on only to find we are being dragged kicked and punched so to speak back to schools playgrounds? The nosey ones who went on to become the best spies forever poking around in the background of your life...what on earth would they feel like? But what does any of that if true amount too? 
Evidently, something very bad has gone on?
Sadly, there is little or nothing you can do if someone from your family or school went on to do something so cruel to someone or just in society in general....everyone on every side would be at a loss and full of the effects of damage from whatever was done!
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But investigations haven't stopped around me. From night to day the presence is like the effects of no holidays....as someone keeps on calling me name amongst them...we grew up as a family accused, if true, despite all we had been put through!
Just wanting to do ordinary just wouldn't do because the unwanted finds you!
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Frim dashing detectives, doctirs and nurses, law enforcement's personnel...yes...yes....something else happened....oh yes....in 2006-2007.  A clairaudient voice used to shout at me  more in East London than anywhere else.....fawn....fawn....could i understand why? No...i moved on with my life....fawn your fawn at times....did i know why.....no i got here in 2014 and got on with my life......fawn...fawn until you know why....even sounding like “your fawn" at times!
^
But what do we with this life?
Try to get on with it night after night
As murderers remain useful to those filled with hate and spite
What chances do you have when coming from families which become legally mixed?
When the same things keep happening in an almost identical matter in tw0 separate locations?
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Back in the day in large familes trying to survive a kid was given to a kid to help ease pressure so they could play together and look after each other.
Well, I suffered from being a very possessive child....abused....i didn't know those kids weren't mine! So much I had never understood, much remained unexplained whilst been battered essentially for coping with all your injuries. I didn't understand who these kids were or that they weren't mine until i became independent of what went on.
^
Cried all day like my life seems to be still crying today
^.
....as i sit down...as i go through this with what type or kind of thinking?
Have you ever asked your self especially when you all the decision you made led you into a complete and utter mess... how was your life supposed to turn out? 
Don't think i ever did until
 recently as my life became blighted by a lot of unwanted attention!
Is that a pointless question or a good question to ask yourself when trying to build a better life for yourself?
^
How much less would any of us have suffered if we were properly filtered for want of a better word, and not just heaped into a pile which deemed us all as delinquents setting the scene for ongoing addiction to revenge instead of adequate treatment for: self-respect, addiction to destruction of the self and others,  possible or “ likely” ADD, self-esteem, self-confidence, and the most important one... correct and accurate perception of ourselves, and other people, and perceived circumstances, and perceived challenges?
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With what type of thinking was the abuses forced upon us not seen in wider society?
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With what type or kind of thinkg was justice almost impossible to find or negoitate once found?
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With what type of thinking are we creating? Living? Chosing? Negating? Ignoring? Or paying attention? Or paying attention but ignoring putting the eggs in socitey at the top of basket?
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People with what?
Are doing what?
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Natural Flowism
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A Freedom of Beíng!
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