TuneCore/Songtradr

BLOG HOUSE

It is now April 2020 already give thanks!

When the world

When Life

calls us all to our notice or to pay attention

Even if as nations we collective go through experiencing the same situations and circumstances

there are just not enough words of comfort for all those who have lost their loved ones 

Corona virus sadly has seen many souls return home from this earth

Even though I do not have the words of wisdom or comfort at this time for the pain and suffering of all those who are in physical pain as a result of the corona Virus. I just without offence wanted to say i pray and hope you all be strong and well again. 

 

Also, I just wanted  to acknowledge and give a word of gratitude and thanks to everyone who is working tirelessly on the front line of this epidemic. Thank You!  Thank you! Thank you!

my words are not correct

I am sorry if my wording not being correct offends you!

The whole world feels like it is in a global reset

the whole world feels like it is in a global mindset reset

So quickly so many taken

So much changes

So instantly the financial impact

Global mind reset!

In loving memory of all those who returned to their souls

May you soar beyond your wildest dreams and may all who remain do the same!

Take care all and everyone!

Please follow the advice in this link to stay safe: https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/coronavirus-covid-19-list-of-guidance

natural flowism

a freedom of being! 

 

 

 

Still Bugging and its been years of.... 

For the express attention of Detective Rivington Smythe...but further up the road!


TN  drives passed me and a rip is felt in the lower back part of my head just above my neck on the right side of my head. X.
It alters me
Is someone jealous of me or them?
Ovv tries to work on me
They continue to try to work on Me along the M25
Its been since South Africa...
There is a white line in the sky that flies away after TN has driven  by
I arrive Washington no dome twenty seventh November twenty-twenty one after nine am
Puddle dog right ear pulled
Pedestrian crossing just past Ealing toward hanger lane
Sea shells 
Broadway smells
As a gang of stalkers antics are covered by scientific money collecting churches
Somebody got famous and that carried through as though that endorsed all what stalkers can do!
It is as if success is hiding riveting abuse only to the sadist and misogynist who enjoy seeing a person constantly forced to find ways to survive their abuse!
Patrols few would recognise as such
A kidnapped life style few would recognise as such
They’ve always known they had it all 
They watch as another generation in society only just wakes up to what has been going on all along. 
Cover after cover
Slowly comes off
Killers must have thought they walked off scot free 
Free as a bird  until new understandings about the causes of mental health made their alibies unfurl which catapults plans to rage chaos attempts to rage wars so they will never get caught again just because she done in a friend?
Whose on the mend?
They raise false hope as they lay claims of a wedding and spread
False rumours about a romance which will never take effect is spread to have the effect of abusing people to be submissive to a cause from which they cannot repent. They did no wrong but must be kept on.
Whilst medical conditions prevail feels like a cult?  has devised a way to lay grip onto a persons body? Here's that story:
Ten Fifty Eight Zero Four
Paid for goods on the Twenty Seventh of November Twenty -  Twenty One. Echo Four Eight Sierra Tango maybe? I could feel it. Energy puffing away my lower back begins to feel gathered getting tighter and tighter till its is difficult for me to move, and almost breathe uf it had carried on! As i walked away from paying for my goods i brush the energy down from my back as i walk away! 
Again it reinforces the cruelty and level of control there has continued to be in my life. I cannot think of anything i am doing apart from getting in with my life which will raise the need for that level of oppressive control over me which another attempts to be. These are patterns that i now realise began to be  raised possibly as far back as two thousand and three. But yet something else reminds me of the cruelty that had always been even before the age of three!
^
To date someone who has never been stalked is unknown to me
To know or have interacted with anyone who has not struggled to get out of a marriage or from someone is unknown to me!

Raising a child in the middle and all the way through campaigns of stalking is known to me!
^
For this to be the case hoos effect treatment possibly  may not be in place?
^

Natural Flowism 
^
A Freedom of Being!
^










Attached Until they or until we allUnderstand? 

Whether you reach here by lamb or fowl...the world unfolds be it good or bad.
^
Cover ups become uncovered if your life has the span
^
After living for a  long enough time society as it is can seem like a carefully contrived plan to blight the belief in good health and freedom adventure and no need for no good restrictions!
Why did we believe in the projectionist who can project illness and no doubt possibly  contrived a plan that will not vibrate toward the manifestation  of health!
Stress and what stress is
Who would have thought
Certainly no me 
That years after feeling the weight and pressurs of taking on what feels like everybody else crap that if you can become mentally strong enough somehow you can employ your own imagination to throw it all back. Only that which does not belong to you, of course!
Some people have the gift of freedom to not accept what is not there. But sadly so.many of never realised what was being done to us ...therefore we became mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financial sick because we had no means of immediatelly recognising what was not ours. Therefore it stayed with us as ours instead of being returned to sender!
^
Nobody but a few would believe these things called curses can actually speak and move out and a way from you.
Considered babble amongst the wrong set
But unless you can understand a level of assault of attachment planned and carried out against  someone to be effective whilst they are conscious or sub-conscious in board day light and by night remotely and otherwise. The attachment created and that person spoken about as a something which is a belongjng of the attacher.
By goat or curry they cannot see of feel like as freedom and love for everybody.
And sadly they are not wrong within them something has gone attachment becomes their main function.

Natural  Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^
#laviniadeayr


Wooden Shiplap 

Coming down the M40
All I could hear is:
Pile dick or piles of dicks
Shoved in the blue
The crutch took it
The obsession of projection
The belief their projection game is where riches were made
Projection till they touch the spot meant you could control everyone!
^
It hatched more than just a plot and plan
Driving down ths motorway
Vile 
I could my breast being felt
Have to use my imagination  over and over again because somebody's gran father got lucky with somebody's titties!
Now they try it over and over again
^
Cup cake looking bobble hats
Worn off the crown of the head
Threat of the mamagram?
As arms are lifted so my paranoid imagination feels stretched too
I have got to get it out
I have got to get it out
Not just the red wax incest man believed by others to be stuffed up inside of me
But the threat of the mamagram man
And the yellow jacket gang!


Are their Grabbing you're Crutches too? 

1st Incidents
Tbey cruise by
You're  on road
All of a sudden you're seat feels: A cluck 
A punch 
A pull
A bunch of breeze
Behind near you're  low back
A feeling of clamp
3.5ton weight
Bowels feel inflated 
Another plot
BUT FROM WHERE?
Another strange experience.which remains unstated who would believe you?
It is hard to know what others see when they see you
More feelings ir sensation of somekind of sexual type feeling
So easy to take the blame upon yourself
But no other sensatuon was happening until they come driving toward flashing their light with all tbis underground nasty shit happening!
At times every single car that passes
So....who  is paying to have the other roads airmarked as closure?
^
Could imagine a plot so wicked?
The need to abuse one person or one family
A decision made?
Or someone's worsening condition?
Had a plot or plan for somebody life and that of their children to get in and amongst everything they are created or inherited
An obsession that went along with everything?
^
The decision to forced ithers to feel exactly they do not want to feel. Something they spent developing and funding
But what are they really grabbing?
What gossip are they truly creating?
The gift of word guzzled and appreciated
Why not just drive by without any clinging needs created under the of the guise friendship whilst fulling the needs of assaulting?
^
There are memory prompts on road to drive safe and so on, and so forth
There are memory prompts and warnings if thieves operate in an area. But where are theives memories prompts or early lessons?
For instance....
Remember: to leave things where they are since they do not belong to you!
2. Belongings left unattended is not an "opportunity" for you!
3. The vehicle you are driving is a potential weapon do not do anything to any other driver to cause an altered state of mind!
Can memory prompts from social orgnisation who have the monopoly on crime and behaviour put an end to those who face daily, hourly, or moment to moment assault?
Do pupils who were forced unto schools for delinquents have to pay the price for the rest of their lives?
Anybody else sick and tired of the amount of power that appears to be or given to stalkers,  if any of this could give rise to any truth?
^
Natural Flowism 
^
A Freedom of Being!
^







Their Substance! 

When he finally comes to you
FROM WHERE?
FROM WHERE?
Candles lit
You're dressed all slick
Hair so neat
Straight like bedsheet
He comes to you...
FROM WHERE?
FROM WHERE?
You're  dressed  up
And all stressed out 
Been waiting to see him
But where has he been?
You"ve been tbrough it all
Thought of it all
Why?
Why?
He's done his rounds
And tonight it's  you're  turn
Glossy video inspire this

Songstress's sing about it
Industry makes trillions from it
It appears to be the most popular thing
His manipulation and addiction if that is what it is connected deep into you're emotions or you're addictiveness and many others like you...got you all in it together


Just another substance he's become used to taking!
When he/they finally come to you....
FROM WHERE? 
FROM WHERE?
^
Natural Flowism
^

A Freedom  of Being!
^




At the Delinquency! 

Wasted to many years just thinking!
^
Probably the best thing you can tell the universe is, i do not know how!
^
Possibly one of the biggest health lessons from the universe is with what kind of thinking!
Its a big one which takes some soul searching to get done!
^
Has the meteorite arrived?
As what sounds like nosey garden dwellers prey on the thoughts in the mind?
^
A bunch of women tried to turn man to get away with their crimes
Leaving in their wake confusion and feelings of falsehood of some kind!
^
Has the meteorite arrived?
As my mind still twists and turns painfully on what and why?
I hate to admit it
I have hated to admit it
Even though to some it maybe clear to see or feel
But part of the catalogue of errors left within me after a life time of trying to self-heal from abuses (because the wrong type therapist can leave you with even more damages to overcome) is: intrusive unwanted thoughts!
^
i've always known im an empty head so to speak!
The problem came again or really became noticeable to me yet again in 2003.
Wool pulled over the eyes saw me afflicted with rotary thought yet again an adverse effect for turning up and working but a bad decision had been made on my part due to few good available choices on the path I had chosen...but today it appears somebody lay hidden seen or known by everybody else....but not by me as i was too busy  concentrating on Motherhood not somebody who stood by somebody else imfamously or famously. I was sadly too deep in debt with the costs of lone parenting to be bothered about another delinquent who just could get over another possible person sick with promiscuity and too ill with the sick and violating treatment of others and the inability to say no to their own damage worst of all whilst reminiscing on my name whilst seeing me, my life, my child’s life as something to speak of with hatred; condescension and the most degrading of shame! Had i moved beyond the events of primary school again! As today my life feels like constant intimidation of obsessed nosiness from queues at the chemist to home intruders and ongoing trespass of years gone by. Admittedly,  I moved from abuses without many people being told why but now it has been more than 30 years gone by and something has unsettled everything and everyone!
^
Why didn't “we” as society not set up effective filter programs: infant from home to nursery checked for possible parental/caregiver/guardian damage?
From: nursery to primary thorough checked for possible repair and training and treatment....and so on and so on right the way up through the system of education wouldn't society in general be irrevocably changed? Would their be less crime and suffering because so much behaviour and other problems will be detected earlier on? Wouldn't many of us be less targeted by the sensitive or bully in the class room coming back or resurfacing in our lives because suffering from what we did we laughed wrong at the wrong moment but then moved on only to find we are being dragged kicked and punched so to speak back to schools playgrounds? The nosey ones who went on to become the best spies forever poking around in the background of your life...what on earth would they feel like? But what does any of that if true amount too? 
Evidently, something very bad has gone on?
Sadly, there is little or nothing you can do if someone from your family or school went on to do something so cruel to someone or just in society in general....everyone on every side would be at a loss and full of the effects of damage from whatever was done!
^
But investigations haven't stopped around me. From night to day the presence is like the effects of no holidays....as someone keeps on calling me name amongst them...we grew up as a family accused, if true, despite all we had been put through!
Just wanting to do ordinary just wouldn't do because the unwanted finds you!
^
Frim dashing detectives, doctirs and nurses, law enforcement's personnel...yes...yes....something else happened....oh yes....in 2006-2007.  A clairaudient voice used to shout at me  more in East London than anywhere else.....fawn....fawn....could i understand why? No...i moved on with my life....fawn your fawn at times....did i know why.....no i got here in 2014 and got on with my life......fawn...fawn until you know why....even sounding like “your fawn" at times!
^
But what do we with this life?
Try to get on with it night after night
As murderers remain useful to those filled with hate and spite
What chances do you have when coming from families which become legally mixed?
When the same things keep happening in an almost identical matter in tw0 separate locations?
^
Back in the day in large familes trying to survive a kid was given to a kid to help ease pressure so they could play together and look after each other.
Well, I suffered from being a very possessive child....abused....i didn't know those kids weren't mine! So much I had never understood, much remained unexplained whilst been battered essentially for coping with all your injuries. I didn't understand who these kids were or that they weren't mine until i became independent of what went on.
^
Cried all day like my life seems to be still crying today
^.
....as i sit down...as i go through this with what type or kind of thinking?
Have you ever asked your self especially when you all the decision you made led you into a complete and utter mess... how was your life supposed to turn out? 
Don't think i ever did until
 recently as my life became blighted by a lot of unwanted attention!
Is that a pointless question or a good question to ask yourself when trying to build a better life for yourself?
^
How much less would any of us have suffered if we were properly filtered for want of a better word, and not just heaped into a pile which deemed us all as delinquents setting the scene for ongoing addiction to revenge instead of adequate treatment for: self-respect, addiction to destruction of the self and others,  possible or “ likely” ADD, self-esteem, self-confidence, and the most important one... correct and accurate perception of ourselves, and other people, and perceived circumstances, and perceived challenges?
^
With what type of thinking was the abuses forced upon us not seen in wider society?
^
With what type or kind of thinkg was justice almost impossible to find or negoitate once found?
^
With what type of thinking are we creating? Living? Chosing? Negating? Ignoring? Or paying attention? Or paying attention but ignoring putting the eggs in socitey at the top of basket?
^
People with what?
Are doing what?
^
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Beíng!
^





 

To Catch a Little Cloud - Expressionisn Therapy! 

To Catch a Little Cloud – Expressionism Therapy!
Waking up and Writing Poetry upon Waking!
(Punctuate as you see fit!)



The sky is blue and I feel like I miss you!
Love has been long gone because demon Mommy and Daddy had their fun
So far apart
Love has become like a poison chant 
Whilst nature continues to pound away at our hearts so love can still play a part in the chain of events where so much hate was raised to rain on each and every refrain!
^
To ask another question today feels like it will exhaust the brain
^
But the skies are blue and i think of you
God only knows who!
If skies weren't blue would i still think of you?
To have kept a note of you for so many years
Cannot confirm that be for love
But maybe more for a symbol of all that went wrong
It can take a full entire life time to out live what abusers did, and have done!
^
Society, whatever that is...still hasn't fully clocked on to the extent of what has gone on
^
When getting on with what needs to be done on an everyday practical level
Who has time to manipulate others?
^
Who or what....
....makes the time to fear people who may potentially meet or even fall or grow to love each other by  first becoming possible acquaintances, friends, business partners...or then as a result of all that maybe...just maybe they might keep growing toward  becoming lovers, life partners....and then....possibly within that...they might find that they may have created a spiritual partnership type bond....who has the time or mental devices which will seek to manipulate such a hate that will work so hard to keep people so far apart...?
^
With a sky so beautiful and blue changing in each moment no matter what we say or do
Does it matter the hue of blue...
As the white clouds fade into the blue sky another change has been made as more time goes by marked and faded by sun kissed natural light
^
As love investigations never fade nothing stops for now
Because demon mommy and daddy have already had their fun 
As blue skies are created after the hazy colour palette of morning dew as the sunrises to create a day where the sky produces so many subtle shades of different blues
^
So why ask why and have so many questions of why
Why can't you write something that is not questioning of why Especially, when there is love is there an undercurrent fear of something which has or is wrong the heartbreak of the unsaid or not done, if true of anything or anyone?
^
What it is to live know and feel your love is never wrong nor does it hurt anyone...but the dis-ease or disordered your intention of good in Love has become mangled with has made all your feelings and attempts to love someone go so wrong that your supposed feelings of love  hurt you and potentially anyone or everyone around you!
^
Your intention of a soft and tender touch sold out and bought outright and taken out by whatever drove you to violence!
^
To be held and made love to all night long again has sold you out taken out and away from you because of the lust you refused!
^
Your capacity and ability to love anyone unconditionally making you completely appreciated by the wife husband or partner you would choose destroyed by spite and jealousy caused by untold or undiscovered injuries or damages which have costed you with years of inabilities, and misdirected needs for intimacy!
^
Nothing retrained
Nothing changed
Bitterness for years on end
Unhappy people
Too many unhappy people
Too many dis-eases in a life time where so much good and opportunity is missed because too many heads remain lost in sickness, and disease!
^

The grey skies
That follow blues skies
Which leave so many moaning and groaning about love lost 
^
Bravery 
or 
Depravity
How to move on?
How will you get on if Your next relationship requires no game?
No mind game
No strategy
No game plan
No: if she does this I'll do that
If he does this I’ll out wit him like that
A disastrous cycle that will never end 
Under a beautiful bright blue sky where problems seem so far a way till a dull and gloomy day where if love required just the two of you to be honest and true without a game plan or masked plan of ill or bad intentions which will destroy the very essence of true intimacy and breed discontent which clings rather than stays together, how will you move on?
^
After the rain is the rainbow and yes....all the other clichè's follow eventually behind all grey skies blue skies follow  
Loves has its ups and downs but why can't love just last by always being kind and mellow without highs or lows?
^
Love is built before love becomes 
Love doesn't hurt but the disorder and illnessess projected or injected into love does!
^
There is no need to let go 
But why cling to dirt
Etiquette teaches how do you do?
So why does my mind ask: who the fuck are you?
^
As blue skies become even more blue as the Sun deepens and brightens the colour hue
Too angry for Love
Always on edge
Not willing to budge
Your mind's making fudge but what love really wants is love 
But...
...you find someone weak and unable to resist being made to blame but who is faithful and dutiful but yet you still complain all the same . Because, now you are stuck in resentment for the choice you made...instead of fixing your head so your true ability to love someone you really want won't be stuck under the abuse or injurt you suffered which created your own ignorance and vulnerability of someone feeling hatred whilst trying to make it pass for love!
^
Under these pretty clear blue skies where clouds only show up in part of the beautiful clear blue skies!
^
Created and Inspired a Blue Sky Day in Scotland!
^
Natural Flowism
^
A Freedom of Being!
^
#laviniadeayr


 



 
 




Post Examination 

Post Examination!
Give a Stalker back their Life before they Take a Life?
So Lavinia...during this interview we will attempt to tie up loose ends and then tackle the main bane subject matter. 
Does it begin with nosiness? I just had a feeling you would have more to say on the matter...what exactly did you mean about predictive nosiness?
Lavinia: seems like its back to the days of I know what you are going to do next....rolled out and more widespread from on generation to the next?
...and that feels like what though...what  is it like exactly to have someone treat you like that...and to see someone locked into wasting there own time doing that to you?
Lavinia: dear God to be the focus of someone so obsessed with you that they spend, spend, spend....spend the time to recreate the reflection to prove they knew...every choice I would make? My mind my internal private ways has to be externally attacked day after day.
Is it also hard because you don’t seem to be able to resolve who or what it is?
Lavinia: yes you can only hope such a person will wear themselves out! As some stalkers do. Triggers do stop and some can naturally heal and move on. 
Is that why you turned the phrase give a stalker back their life before they take a life?
Lavinia: It refers only to where possible. I acknowledge and recognize it is a very blanket bold and potentially dangerous statement to make!  There are a myriad of reasons  why a person gets triggered into the behaviour pattern...despite their bravado and fear they go onto cause...it is an incredibly sad state to see someone disintegrate into given the power of the human psyche and intellect and all that it can accomplish!
Yes! That is very true. If you put a stalker up against a high achiever it could look very different.
Lavinia: The thing is stalkers are also high functioning achievers, and that is part of the big and costly problem each and stalker is, and has been because a stalker legacy of damage lasts life times. Generation after generations is continually affected by either jeep up the behaviour, or by beíng forced to continually foot the bill for those who continue a stalkers legacy!  They are not all bums on the street. I was only describing one description. What we must be educated about is every variant of each individual who suffers from that need to have so much control....
Variant?
Lavinia: scenarios maybe a better description. How many ways can we foresee and teach and understand the traps a stalker natural sets. As early as a school child i remember being unsettled by someone. But i could not articulate it as feeling or being stalked. I would have said bullied but not stalked. Which would have meant something different not a life time of  being pursued, accused, spited, sleighted, picked on, put down, and then left with the bill each and every time. Psychological, mentally, physically, and financially. Not just me remember this all my family one way or the other has been affected by stalking or have had to react to it somehow whether they even realise it or not! The “dis-ease of each stalker never just affects their primary target it splinters and exploded into every inch and micro part of society. So...why ignore it? Somebody is too scared somewhere true or false? Is it because some people find the behaviour lucrative? If so, who?
Oooooh...doesn't stalking still come down to one thing...the same thing their need for attention ends up becoming unwanted attention?

Lavinia: whilst we're not paying attention...but the sad thing is paying attention and observing others is a natural part of life. Human beings learn from animals and each other, and of course many other things! The extent may act as a division...as to our observation or attention affecting others in such a way as wanted and unwanted! But i tell you what in all of this for far too long “society” “social causes" and worse yet politics have been allowed to “treat" deeply rooted medical and clinical brain health issues...
 

Should She Have Published Her Private Works? Q&A 

Should I  Have Published my Private Works?

Q&A

Good Morning, Lavinia lets get started. You had quite an out pouring over the weekend what was going on there? Was it planned?

Lavinia: No… actually not all was planned…..some of it was!

So….it was more about just releasing trauma? Stress?

Lavinia: Yes, it really was it just flows out because I’m open to it

Why take so much time to write so much with a book unfinished?

Lavinia: I do not want the book to get too bog down or distracted by this stuff. Whilst even with the book I have most of the direction by now. I just wasn’t completely ready to delve into it despite protestations.

….and unfinished?

Lavinia: it allows the reader to see my state of mind. What I observe…what I leave behind…for me it is the bravery? Courage? The strength to be as I am with no pretense!

…and that is important to you is….why so?

Lavinia: because abuse lies!

Ok we’ll be back with Lavinia later….Lavinia publish will you…ta!

Welcome back to this Q&A session with Artist Poet Owner and Founder of Natural Flowism Ltd Lavinia De Ayr!

Should you have Published your own Private Works?

Lavinia: Umm…for me…I was in a fix…this wasn’t just about being followed down the road. This was or at least felt like a second time around stalkers campaign…

…or was it…considering…do you not think by now somebody else had surfaced who unbeknowest to you may have been botheration to you all along?

Lavinia: I do wonder that now. I also wonder why I would yet again have to be and feel abused as a result? And in fact by last night…

…the third of October twenty -  twenty one…

Lavinia:  …I had come to the conclusion that all this surround sound so to speak has everything to do with the original stalker. The level of possessiveness. Once it gets to the stage where a stalker gains enough access to their target that they can organize everyone’s conversation around them…and worst of all almost control things to the point….if true of course….but if a stalker is so dangerous and many of them are that they can energetically manipulate negative energy toward two people deliberately pitting them against each other…

…is this referring to the Friday argument? What do think the significance of segmented fruit is?

Lavinia: yeah….mmm….i used to find it really strange when it was really intense that almost every Friday there was something done to affect energy that would bring about an argument of some sort. But, for some reason I also knew it was all very suspicious….

 

…in what years that particular antic so intense do you remember when?

 

Lavinia: ….during 2009 toward about 2012ish. But once I began to realise what was being done I tried my best to abate any conflict. What I still hadn’t learnt was enough about energy being deliberately being projected in toward you or about beíng used or more likely abused as a gauge or barometer of sorts!

Hmmmm…segmented fruit?

 

Lavinia:…mmmm….the only thing I have been thinking about recently is….if you look at a company through a “pie” chart. If you analyze each segment and find that the area  of employment shown in the “pie” chart is the smallest…the thinniest slice does that signify exploitation of a work force? Which nay result in Poorly performing work force?  Does it signify an abusive/sick minded leader? Or does it signify a lack of experience and know how in leadership? Or poor quality produce or in other  areas of a business or even a country as a whole?

So…from what you are asking I dare to presume is how clear is the evidence of abuse and human rights issues in the face of possible abuse? How much ready evidence is being ignored?

When we come back Lavinia will answer more questions about decision to publish her private works!

Welcome Back!

Lavinia, lets talk about how you feel about the reaction to your work…do you think or know about the feedback from others? How has it been since turning yourself into a self – publishing author and editor?

Lavinia: ….Hmmm….its has been strenuous to say the least. My Attention Deficit Disorder has surfaced that’s for sure. Yet, overall, the experience has been cathartic…I wouldn’t be without it.

Hmmmm….

Lavinia: I think more recently another wave of reaction has been stirred with further abusive and more over queries. What looks like some very abusive characters with little decorum about them.

 

Ooops! Your writings ended yesterday with diary entries as you caught up on weeks gone by.  What was your study behind those works?

 

Lavinia: ummm….there has a change in the “tone” so to speak of what has been going on.

As the artist and poet what are you finding in that “tone” so to speak especially as a writer of ‘abuse in a family context’ and of ‘stalking’ does your choice of subject affect the reaction toward you? What do you think?

 

Lavinia: right out the gate a big Yes! Subject choice is a major factor in how you will be received! Think about it….there will never be a right time or thing to say when it comes to a stalker or an abuser in your family often the two overlap. So, how popular can you become. You can’t and will never be loved or popular if you are from a family of abusers who cannot get well soon or get better full stop! Spite is one of the longest running forms of abuse from either side. I am still struggling with myself on a moment to moment basis whilst under attack not to react or retaliate in spite even whilst being “spited”.

Have relationships been affected or destroyed out right?

Lavinia: trust me I don’t even want to go there because nothing is pure!

What on earth do you mean by that?

Lavinia: All I can say is:  in any abusive or conflict situation every human is better off learning the difference between a pure and true loving bond and trauma bonding?

Oh…I get it. So it is to grow in the awareness to know when you are forming a bond with someone of your own choice rather with someone due to an enforced situation. So try and get to know yourself better and choose rather than presume?

Lavinia: Yes. That is what I meant by nothing is pure!

Thank you for staying with us. We will regroup and return at a later point in time!

 

 

Should I  Have Published my Private Works?

Q&A

Good Morning, Lavinia lets get started. You had quite an out pouring over the weekend what was going on there? Was it planned?

Lavinia: No… actually not all was planned…..some of it was!

So….it was more about just releasing trauma? Stress?

Lavinia: Yes, it really was it just flows out because I’m open to it

Why take so much time to write so much with a book unfinished?

Lavinia: I do not want the book to get too bog down or distracted by this stuff. Whilst even with the book I have most of the direction by now. I just wasn’t completely ready to delve into it despite protestations. 

….and unfinished?

Lavinia: it allows the reader to see my state of mind. What I observe…what I leave behind…for me it is the bravery? Courage? The strength to be as I am with no pretense!

…and that is important to you is….why so?

Lavinia: because abuse lies!

Ok we’ll be back with Lavinia later….Lavinia publish will you…ta!

Welcome back to this Q&A session with Artist Poet Owner and Founder of Natural Flowism Ltd Lavinia De Ayr! 

Should you have Published your own Private Works?

Lavinia: Umm…for me…I was in a fix…this wasn’t just about being followed down the road. This was or at least felt like a second time around stalkers campaign…

…or was it…considering…do you not think by now somebody else had surfaced who unbeknowest to you may have been botheration to you all along?

Lavinia: I do wonder that now. I also wonder why I would yet again have to be and feel abused as a result? And in fact by last night…

…the third of October twenty -  twenty one…

Lavinia:  …I had come to the conclusion that all this surround sound so to speak has everything to do with the original stalker. The level of possessiveness. Once it gets to the stage where a stalker gains enough access to their target that they can organize everyone’s conversation around them…and worst of all almost control things to the point….if true of course….but if a stalker is so dangerous and many of them are that they can energetically manipulate negative energy toward two people deliberately pitting them against each other…

…is this referring to the Friday argument? What do think the significance of segmented fruit is?

Lavinia: yeah….mmm….i used to find it really strange when it was really intense that almost every Friday there was something done to affect energy that would bring about an argument of some sort. But, for some reason I also knew it was all very suspicious….


…in what years that particular antic so intense do you remember when?


Lavinia: ….during 2009 toward about 2012ish. But once I began to realise what was being done I tried my best to abate any conflict. What I still hadn’t learnt was enough about energy being deliberately being projected in toward you or about beíng used or more likely abused as a gauge or barometer of sorts!

Hmmmm…segmented fruit?


Lavinia:…mmmm….the only thing I have been thinking about recently is….if you look at a company through a “pie” chart. If you analyze each segment and find that the area  of employment shown in the “pie” chart is the smallest…the thinniest slice does that signify exploitation of a work force? Which nay result in Poorly performing work force?  Does it signify an abusive/sick minded leader? Or does it signify a lack of experience and know how in leadership? Or poor quality produce or in other  areas of a business or even a country as a whole?

So…from what you are asking I dare to presume is how clear is the evidence of abuse and human rights issues in the face of possible abuse? How much ready evidence is being ignored?

When we come back Lavinia will answer more questions about decision to publish her private works!

Welcome Back!

Lavinia, lets talk about how you feel about the reaction to your work…do you think or know about the feedback from others? How has it been since turning yourself into a self – publishing author and editor?

Lavinia: ….Hmmm….its has been strenuous to say the least. My Attention Deficit Disorder has surfaced that’s for sure. Yet, overall, the experience has been cathartic…I wouldn’t be without it.

Hmmmm….

Lavinia: I think more recently another wave of reaction has been stirred with further abusive and more over queries. What looks like some very abusive characters with little decorum about them. 


Ooops! Your writings ended yesterday with diary entries as you caught up on weeks gone by.  What was your study behind those works?


Lavinia: ummm….there has a change in the “tone” so to speak of what has been going on.

As the artist and poet what are you finding in that “tone” so to speak especially as a writer of ‘abuse in a family context’ and of ‘stalking’ does your choice of subject affect the reaction toward you? What do you think?


Lavinia: right out the gate a big Yes! Subject choice is a major factor in how you will be received! Think about it….there will never be a right time or thing to say when it comes to a stalker or an abuser in your family often the two overlap. So, how popular can you become. You can’t and will never be loved or popular if you are from a family of abusers who cannot get well soon or get better full stop! Spite is one of the longest running forms of abuse from either side. I am still struggling with myself on a moment to moment basis whilst under attack not to react or retaliate in spite even whilst being “spited”.

Have relationships been affected or destroyed out right?

Lavinia: trust me I don’t even want to go there because nothing is pure! 

What on earth do you mean by that?

Lavinia: All I can say is:  in any abusive or conflict situation every human is better off learning the difference between a pure and true loving bond and trauma bonding?

Oh…I get it. So it is to grow in the awareness to know when you are forming a bond with someone of your own choice rather with someone due to an enforced situation. So try and get to know yourself better and choose rather than presume?

Lavinia: Yes. That is what I meant by nothing is pure!

Thank you for staying with us. We will regroup and return at a later point in time!





 

 

...they wait to see if you knew 

The whole village remixed and regrouped...

Just sat there planning her revenge all these years long

From Scottish Airports to Earls Court? He played his lip like three two one two three

No code language, thank you

I laid on my bed and heard a voice shout out the “det”

From South Africa to Tangerines

From New York it seems to the back of Hackney

From the Scottish Hills to my books unfinished

From mess to progress

From the sickening of the overt

To clairaudient talk of Canary Wharf and Docklands

Who can tell which or what manifestation has come

And I am still not ready yet to bring the conclusion

Though I know the direction of stalker is still back with the layers which were originally laid!

As one Father comes to terms with hiding from his son as he is opened to what he had become

Dear I dare to think of anything else much disturbed by thought as I am!

Encroachment instead of encouragement

Years ago few would know what to do when so many adored flirted and was moved by the sounds of their voices as no crowd could be controlled

 

There in a belief system was inbred and an illness left which would go on to cost so many of us so many

It became so inbred it fed itself into authority that has a right to know about you because of what and the way they sang.

An innocent way of life to support admire and continually invest in someone’s Art  only trouble is they are not all like that!

From Colnebrook to home in the East End sounds like the same voices are around again in that distinctive high laughter

As they aim to please as much displeasure

Oh just get on with it!

They think aloud

As they curse me the control they believe they have

Though I never checked with them

Like most people affected by nosey people and stalker I have been far to busy getting on with my own life and minding my own business whilst they busy themselves by what controls them.

As they wait for the next move you make

As they wait maybe to help

As they wait to tell you about their own hell

As they wait to tell you of the duplicate abuse

As they wait

As they wait

As they wait?

You go about your day

They wait

Like the anonymity of a rock stars family?

Then after they wait they explain

“Some of us decided to Stalk your stalker back after them trying to swindle and get at us!