"Is it ones families precision?"
It has been a few years since I visited Morocco.
Morocco was the first holiday and first time travelling abroad by myself without meeting someone I already knew at the destination. But in truth I knew I wasn't completely alone because I knew I was being stalked, and had some kind of investigative figures stalking/following 9n behind whereever I would go Uk and abroad, and to be honest that is a tail end that always feel like shit and in and of itself needs investigating because it takes a toll on me as ongoing abuses. Whether that tale end is welling or not by unknown press reporters, unknown evangalists of sorts, possible undercover Police Officers doing the good and welling meaning thankless task of finding extremely clever and stealthy dangerous criminals! It just all felt very off even though it was a trip I took alone to celebrate my own birthday. A day which I spent so many years hating let alone not wanting to ever celebrate mu birthdat just because life has felt much like no place to ever really relax or truly ever be safe enough to let my whole guard down!
Some people upon hearing that will launch into a full on monologue of blame slammed against me; you should have done this and that and shouldn't be doing this or that! If it is the one who intimately stalks the atrack will continue to be you should have stayed...you shouldn't have gone...i have a right to access to you regardless of whether you give you permission or not!
That last bit has been the longest riding piece of possibly evidence known durning this epilogue I have known since I was first forced into experiencing being stalked. An experience which began as far back as 1986/1987 when I lived in Notting Hill Gate in West London with more recent incidents and episodes emerging from2005 and becoming full blown by 2007; and again with something changing and similar intensity of previous again having episodes continuing since 2014! Which may mean given what seems like a 7 year patterning. It maybe possible that in another 7/8 months something else again emerge, and though hopefully not... may present again as full blown episode nature of Stalking type and sub-type behaviours!?
Since the above mentioned behaviours I have been writing and publishing My Very Own Poetry Style Blogs which led me into the world of Self- Publishing my own books. Which are written as Self-Defense and Self-Healing works intended for research. As a Self-Publisher it means nothing is edited out or presented as something much more glossier than it potentially is. Though once I regain the time and energy needed I do intend to try and see if it is possible to clean up some of my previous works.
Ok, enough about my written history let me get back to why I began by recounting my holiday to Morocco.
Certain days out and trips for me have always been purposefully taken. At difficult and different junctures in my life when I need to make particular decisions about the direction of my life. Morocco was no different especially as I had to find away to get through the holiday knowing that nosey and unwanted individuals were trying to gate crash my party as it were! Somewhere in a molesting type atmosphere I had to try and enjoy myself despite the presence of ongoing planned spite. If you can imagine going abroad to experience something new and to me new people only to find and realise an unknown stalker and an abuser who abused you possibly since school or at least since your teenage had recruited locals from London/Uk neighbourhoods to go to your holiday destination so by the time you get there the stalkers recruits are there to serve you; follow you around; you in turn - struggle to experience anything or anyone new. Well, I feel that is how bad and how far a stalker not necessarily known to me got in my life...and that as an ongoing experience Uk or abroad has been beyond fatigue and exhaustion for me over the years as I remain continually forced into dealing with experiences created by the dis-ease of others suffering from the need to Stalk!
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I was only in Morocco for a few days and initially I could not find the epiphany or restructure to the way I was thinking and feeling...prior to going on holiday and whilst being on holiday. Until, i decided to book a Quad bike trip through a part of a desert type area. Between deciding to take that Quad Bike Trip and including the trip experience it in the book I had been writing around the time I went and came back from that holidsy which recounted the fact it took me to the end of that holiday to finally realise the spiritual awakening I had been searching for...has me sat here today writing this blog!
Why?
When I took the quad bike trip that beautiful blue sky sunny day in Morocco with my very jerky style of riding...i expressed in my written work how free I felt riding a bike. Because usually if not walking I am driving a car or lorry. It felt very different not to be encased. I had also explained the awakening I during that time as I followed an instructor as he led the way for me as I rode and was sightseeing on that trip. My written work is a mix of experiencing abuses and trying to overcome them.
Holiday and book finally over and long time finish and done with I keep moving on with my life. I do not write books for other people to take and develop their own ideas about a subject or theme of a book I have written then to come back around me and abuse me with their inability to just read a book put it down and leave it alone. I almost find it impossible to explain that since going on holiday and writing about it in a book I found myself unduly under unwanted attention of what maybe a specifically created biker community.
Whilst I like many other writer encourage people to get well and be encouraged and inspired. That is not an open invitation for anyone to rob steel or take your original ideas or forms of expression and abuse them. From since a I visited Morocco up until yesterday the 17th of July 2020. Without shame bikers many of whom are dressed in dark brown biker wear have played out what feels like a form of very passive aggressive evil. Wherever I go. Whether that is a group of girl bikers on a Friday night set up to spread out across the M20 Maidstone bound, or a batch of lone brown jackets trying to point out where I am going when I never told them where I would be!
It was getting toward the latter part of 2005 and I was beginning to feel the impact of losing my Father in a which I never thought I would as we were never close. I had by that worked for years in the haulage trying to better myself bit by bit and I had succeeded. But at a very unecessary price because though I could not articulate it at the time for what it turned out to be all the years late I knew I was being clung on too in some shape or form and I couldn't cope...and just put up a persona to get through till I could get out. It wasn't supposed to offend anybody but it is I feel where the germ of trickery may have been born and continued in some form repitation everyday every month and every years since then. Which has gone on to include the even further type in intimate intrusion of my home being broken into. Which remains unsolved!
I will say this I never joined the haulage industry to abuse or be abused!
There are certain individuals in life who clinically cannot understand boundaries. They have not the neurological mechanical ability.
People who stalk spend a degree of time working on and working how they use their energy to control and manipulate others to their own belief whilst other people do not need to do that.
I still do not know exactly what it was about 2014. But since that year I have had to work really hard to make sure that I do not remain at a level of suspicion which the events of that year made me feel to do. 2014 was the year I returned to work as a driver up against a horrible backlash of hate and serious attempts of what seems like very deliberately created attempts of Jealous obstructions!
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If stress paired with Attention Deficit Disorder can be seen as a fake medium then maybe some other area of psychosis made it possible for me to be sprung by a Clairaudient ears where by I could literally be forced to hear what the people I would meet would sound like!
It has been the most exhausting and strangest unwanted experience, if im honest!
Whilst I have always been grateful to those who have managed to give me work. After making the dreadful errors of mixing work and privacy. I haven't since crossed those lines.
To get on in this day and age in most cases you may need to have some kind of social media presence much of which does not always lead to fame and fortune. But yet again I will emphasise that the use of social media is not an invitation to be abusive or to troll or for anyone to ve stalked. Sadly, the more fragile in society despite their bravado seem to not realise there is no open invitation to abuse someone just because they work hard and try to get on in life!
Just like not instantly remembering someone or realising what someone's true motive is not an invitation to cause years of trickery misery and pain in someones personal private or even public life.
Who so ever started up the bikers style rally around me. STOP NOW!
If you hate what I do for a living then stop stalking to and from work and whilst I am at work specifically!
It is very simple go away and become well. You will see know need to continually play charades around me or any form of secruity I maybe forced to use.
Evidently somebody has or has tried damned hard to take advantage of not only my life but of those who are innocently so easily groomed.
There is evidently little ability of restraint among those to sick not to target a person with stalking behaviours or financial type abuses.
If you do find yourself being targeted to abuse Lavinia De Ayr/Flowism Limited/Natural Flowism Ltd you may want to DM
@naturalflowism
@laviniadesigns
Such is the repetition of the history behind to Show Up & Act as...because I found on too many occassions alot of what I have been forced to experience and observe related to the appearances of too many false persona's.
Sadly, whilst slavery is over only to often too little is recognised about the kind of enslavements stalker and their family can create!
In my case as far as I am concerned it got way out of control in one form or the other!
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