TuneCore/Songtradr

Merch

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About Single

Ah Wa Yah Stalking me Fah? Sounds of the Book Shop!  

{What are you Stalking me for? is the Question!} 

This is my first ever single release which captures the inner turmoil of what it is like to be stalked, and how that can connect back to experiences in childhood, and  to how restrictive that can be on a moment to moment basis!   

Musically it was quite a complicated blend, for me at least. 

It was all improv as per usual straight from my heart and soul, no messing around pure truth and true expression of what I felt whilst creating using many different accents during the process of opening up and free flowing with different levels of spoken word dialogues!   

As a tune I managed to keep my up tempo style beat and harmonies all of  which I created with Garage Band using plug- ins and  vocal effects. 

I must admit I felt very raw and experienced a higher level of  sensitivity during the creation of this track. 

It took up a lot of energy but has left me with much more confidence as result, for which I am internally grateful! 

I truly genuinely hope this single promotes some kind of understanding for anyone who has experienced being stalked, and anyone who is currently experiencing trespass and intrusion as well as being stalked, or bullied! 

Bullying and Stalking can create untold damage in a persons life which unfortunately can last a life-time without appropriate attention, treatment, care, and most of all informed protection. 

I didn't include this paragraph in my original upload of the single. But, I experienced bullying alongside other abuses as a child during the periods when I was actually allowed to attend school. Which I found deeply challenging at every age from start to finish. 

During my early years at school to stop myself from being bullied I remember literally having to force myself to stand up for myself which eventually left me with the experience of feeling like a bully myself and bullying back.  Once I figured out that I had to protect myself which included being deemed as annoying during that process because in truth my behaviours where as I was scrambling to come to grips with the truth before I left school and calmed down only to a certain degree! 

It all felt so inevitable to me literally as abuses left me feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. As I grew older and the experiences continued I disliked returning home after school, and dreaded leaving home to go to school... and even now having just included this paragraph it confirms to me that despite trying to change the patterns in my life and my behaviour I still haven't changed enough and I am now 50+! 

Neither experience is easy to have to negotiate at all as an adult, teenager, pre-teen or as a child or younger! 

Regardless, of who you are in society.  

Being stalked, or being bullied in anyway is a very, very expensive set of experiences and abuses to be targeted by. 

Abuses in general are incredibly expensive one way or the other! 

Whether you are left picking up the pieces after an abuser, or tasked with finding effective treatment for those who abuse. None of it, which ever way you look at it is cheap! 

But Dear I say to anyone who feels the struggle of what a stalker surrounding your life  does please just try and hang in there, and don't give up! 

I understand it takes a lot more than some stranger trying to be encouraging. Especially, if you are at the stage where you are finding it impossible to gather evidence on what is happening or has happened to you! 

 Even though I may not be in a position too given  all my experiences and challenges . I still dare to encourage those affected by the experience of being stalked to never give up!  

  

Survive and find a way to find your strength! 

Even if you do not want to publically share your experiences. It is not advisably for everybody. 

 It may well be worth remembering writing your experiences out every day, or even if you cannot write try and just draw shapes or make lines, anything for just a  couple of minutes everyday just to help your brain change your experience and help you become an even stronger survivor, if you are not already! 

Every time you know that stalker or bully is going to bother do what will keep you aware calm SAFE and enable you to find any strength you might need to find the clarity to get the help you need! 

Just do everything for yourself that will help you pour good health back into your life your hopes your dreams your goals!    

Though we experience things individually and whilst we may feel all alone, we are not alone. 

It is not impossible to survive! 

It is worth believing in yourself always! 

As human beings we are worth it! 

I hope you enjoy my Music and most of all understand my work, which is to make some kind of contribution toward providing  Self - Healing Creative Content for Research Purposes, and also to Promote understanding about all the different type of survivors of Stalking and very early childhood abuses! 

Take Care! 

Stay Safe! 

Thank You to everyone who has Listened and Supported my Work! 

I really appreciate it! 

I have Merch  

Thanks to Teespring 

Please click on the shopping trolley where ever you see it on site to shop my products 

Many, Many Thanks! 

Stay Strong and don't give up on your dreams such is the advice I live by and give to myself, and anyone to else! 

If you are an independent or an aspiring musician who has  work that you do not know how to get distributed check out  www.tunecore.com for Distribution and Ascap and Bmi to Register your works! 

Please Like and Subscribe to my You Tube Channel if you like my work, and feel safe to do so! 

Much Appreciated 

Many Thanks 

Lavinia  

https://www.twitter.com/naturalflowism 

I am so Thankfully Grateful and Blessed to Repent and Surrender to the Forgiveness Power and Purpose Life is! 

(I edit on the go, which means whilst I do my best NOT to write with mistakes at times it can take a while for me to notice where they are. I can only apologise) 

Natural Flowism

A Freedom of Being!

^

There are 51 Behind the Scenes of Freedom Audio Videos

EP

BAD GUITAR EP

LAVINIA DE AYR

THERAPY IS MY PROCESS! After healing through producing two large Improv/Spoken Word/Vocal/Instrumental albums I decided to focus on making my very first EP of diverse alternative music tracks. Which truly speak to my present moment state of being. Each track truly has a different style expression giving it its own mood! The first track is called "Trophyism" which has a very indie style feel and mood to it created with a echo chamber feature. The song is actually about a pattern of stalking behaviour experienced. Trophyism equates to a "calling card" left by someone stalking someone else with the intention to intimidate the other person letting them know they are being stalked. It is an incredibly emotionally, spiritually, mentally violently intimate form of violence to be put through, to continually go through, and constantly live with! The second track was renamed "Escape to Ah" formerly called 40 years same tune. It is formulated by a set of chord progressions I learnt as a child from my older siblings. Having only ever succeeded at learning and passing a grand one piano exam. It is a tune I always play, switching up the chords from time to time. I enjoyed creating a fall out style of different harmonies on this track. I wanted to create something which would allow me to explore my vocal range, and at the end of it I thought it sounded like a perfect cats choir. Most of all I love and enjoyed the quiet transition into the instrumental and the cathedral organ finish! It has become the track which helps me find my personal peace and freedom which I am so grateful for! Third track "In House Mother" Is a heart thumping mid tempo house/deep house track turned into an instrumental. Though originally created with lyrics! The Fourth and finally track "Is it me your looking for?" is abstract though that is a strange way to describe a tune. With a haunting layered harmony and a heavy bluesy style bass for accompaniment. It is a song which again relates to the experience of being stalked by someone else. The experience of being constantly pursued which questions who is really being searched for while describing something apparently unrelated which appears to have no connection whatsoever to the question yet is a memory which ties into the experience of being stalked! Despite the heavy intense tones and dramatic meaning behind the songs in the EP. It was a joy to create, and has healed and freed me to find and build on my confidence, and self esteem further as an Improv Free-styling Singer/Songwriter of sorts! I hope you enjoy! Many Thanks Lavinia De Ayr Natural Flowism A Freedom of Being! Selah!

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