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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6719632/inbetween-fantascism-for-freedom-sake">iNbetween Fantascism - For Freedom Sake!</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><div>Dear Father God!</div><div>^</div><div>I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent and surrender to the forgiveness purpose and power life is!</div><div>^</div><div>In  all that infinite wisdom!</div><div>^</div><div>Loose us this day (as I have so learnt to say)from the Angel of Death!</div><div>^</div><div>Every bank and banker loose them from the Angel of Death!</div><div>^</div><div>Every stock exchange and root of all monies loose it and them from the Angel of Death right now!</div><div>^</div><div>Loose this globe called earth from the Angel of Death from the perceptions created everywhere loose us now from it!</div><div>^</div><div>From every death created by the power of thought invested in us all that was unwittingly formed into strength and empowerment and imagery thought belief perception and manifestation that led every nation to believe their should be decay and therefore death right back before the time of the perception known as Christ and the back to the moment creation began where it was believed death should be? loose us loose me now! this day! this moment! this time! from it now!</div><div>This script!</div><div>This poem!</div><div>This prayer maybe deemed as arrogant! Stupid! Cruel! Unnecessary! to be heeded or  needed or not needed! but dear God by the brain power and mentality invested in me I surrender this version to thee and beyond with thee! That the thought form or perception be no more! I do not know what inspires me or thy script or why this came upon me this day? Relieve it! Allow it!as I so surrendered to it! In Jesus name Amen pon  it!</div><div>^</div><div>I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent as I repent and surrender to the forgiveness power and purpose life is!</div><div>^</div><div>Amen this day(as I have learnt from others to say) and for always if there is nothing else I can ever do in this life with my life, I surrender this poem as an Amen!</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div>Amen!</div><div>^</div><div>For Freedoms Sake!</div><div>^</div><div>In the name of the Father Son and Holy Ghost and for however and with whatever anyone else will supplement those 3 with, amen!</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div>#LaviniaDeAyr </div></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2021-08-17T20:16:00+01:00" title="17 August, 2021 20:16">17/08/2021</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6710975/inbetween-fanatiscism">inBetween Fanatiscism </a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><div>If there is nothing inside everything is created outside?</div><div>He tried to plead sanity off the backs of the emotionally disturbed physically abused financially   impoverished he alone created a lack of humanity...but..was he covering up something else like the lack of female success he creates soon after his presence has been felt...an undercurrents of absolute range and hatred not only for himself but everybody else? Or is he a possible victim or survivor of female incest? Rape? Or molestation or something else? Why does he continue to harbour  such jealous hate? Is he the silent witness to the murder only he knows he covertly and tacitly committed?</div><div>Hate it if you are lying all the time and you have got no truth to show at the end of it! But what and who does that  really mean? What does that rreally relate too?</div><div>^</div><div>Obsessiveness about creating or having an image exists because nothing else is naturally  or internally present?</div><div>^</div><div>You cannot?  or may be you can? take an illness out of a disorder dis-ease or brain damage and make it into authority or power simply because of its grip on what is of monetary value? Is that what for so many years so many have tried to do? Whilst deep in the need to let go of those with no ability to accurately relate relay translate or understand information correctly? Within that plight is that deeply damaging phrase too all to often too many of us have failed to understand  the impact and damage it has cause our lives! How many times have we unwittingly  shown someone no care or understanding by saying and asking: isn’t it obvious? Or I thought it would be obvious!</div><div>In the name of knowledge about brain health how dare any of us say or even ask?</div><div>If someone struggles with perception due to injury and yet that person leads the appearance of a normal life making choices unaware of the extent of they are perception are off balance! How dare we ask or presume what is obvious for those who cannot even perceive social cues? It would be so violent to the person for anyone to presume what is obvious to them or is not obvious to them, and what's more could never be obvious to them because quite natural they do not possess the brain function to perceive what is presumed to be generally obvious to all those who do not lack that particular brain function! Isn't hat more correct? Especially for those who suffer in life as a result of their injuries when it comes to having no grip on what is generally thought to be accurate perception least of all because theu appear to be coping with life just as successfully as everybody else!</div><div>^</div><div>Until you have learnt each individuals ability to perceive learn or understand is on the same page as everybody else  nothing is obvious to anyone! Brain damage trauma injury forcible mental emotional spiritual and financial perceptions disturbances due to abuses all affect how an individual  can see something as obvious or not!</div><div>^</div><div>I need to address this/ you done mash up my life/ distracted me from my loved ones/ destroyed my reputation so i don’t stand a chance/ you cost me so much and then you can’t ever pay it back it's not that they don't  know how you feel....they are doing things to deliberately make you feel things you do not want to feel!</div><div><br></div><div>...its just hard for them to believe you've been had</div><div>Not by a lover</div><div>But trapped within the years of a conniving stalker with a ton of supporters no one else is willing to perceive or see!</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div><br></div></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2021-08-09T11:05:00+01:00" title="09 August, 2021 11:05">09/08/2021</span></p>

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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6570762/lanes-of-strange-events">Lanes of Strange Events</a>&nbsp;
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</div><div>It was January I believe...</div><div>
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</div>i dare..</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Or</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I dear..</div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2021-03-11T07:36:00+00:00" title="11 March, 2021 07:36">11/03/2021</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6503991/puzzling-moments-an-argument-set-in-the-90-s-but-did-it-all-just-stay-as-it-was-or-did-it-go-on-to">Puzzling Moments &amp; an Argument set in the 90&#39;s but did it all just stay as it was or did it go on to morph into and mess up my future from the 90&#39;s onward?</a>&nbsp;
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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6486099/fanaticism-passage-27">Fanaticism Passage 27</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><div>Cover...</div><div>^</div><div>The world has come on a bit since the beginning of inventions</div><div>They invented the pound which will have absolutely no value if produced in high quanity which will allow just about anybody to live abundantly if printed made easy?!</div><div>Seriously!</div><div>Are you gonna tell no one has caught on to the biggest sadistic murderous trick known to man?</div><div>Money</div><div>^</div><div>Of all the things the world has invented you gonna tell all this time no one can come up with a Monterey  system that will not devalue due to quantity or scale?</div><div>^</div><div>In this whole amount of time with people walking and running fast fast with brief case busy busy in the city not starting only speaking the middle</div><div>"If we print print like that the value of currency will go down</div><div>Instead of looking at how much time that has gone by creating lack like fact!!</div><div>^</div><div>Its the same vexations I am having with my own inner self in my own personal worls whilst deep in thankfulness and gratitude know that without any doubt but as well this is not just me its on the mind of many!</div><div>^</div><div>Fucking eeking and peetering it out like funking bird fucking food and the forest is still fricking full of it</div><div>Everybody's is talking in the middle the currency value is gonna go down well that was back then how well healed was anybody back then?</div><div>You would fink if it got fucking started as what it is it can change from what it is I can't understand how that is not some first flip?</div><div>It seems like such an ignigma to me</div><div>That those with a much quicker and clearer brain processing and mind function just wouldn't see divide and conquer from devalue to appreciating values?</div><div>Of this is not comprehensive cooperate fact or knowledge </div><div>Its part of a simple poetry book</div><div>^</div><div>All the things which has been invented up until now that has changed all our lives and yet still...</div><div>...something feels like it has snapped and it can so easy-ish to change</div><div>Not that creating a financial construction or infrastructure is easy not that I would know</div><div>But what has become of money  does not have to be so brain and soul destroying either.</div><div>^</div><div>Boy, I don't know what has come over me but this has been with me for some time. </div><div>^</div><div>Since seeing certain boundaries just thrown down toward my life</div><div>Things on a personal level I did not mean to allow happen but had no strength to do anything else or allow certain individuals to get away with violations against me which should have been followed up and through a correct system. If you do stop serial sex offenders they become more angry and possibly even more subtle but it never just ends there unfortunately </div><div>^</div><div>Its strength and behaviour patterns which get all tied up </div><div>And now its mens rea</div><div>And maybe as well that it may also be that brunette man on the tube train all those years ago as I was going up down and around town getting to work who sat with a large baggy coat feathered neck length hair blatantly holding a brand new pack of what looked like minted money sat across from me looking focused but daze was he trying to show me something so obvious about what world change is?</div><div>^</div><div>I dare you!</div><div>^</div><div>I dare you to see flip it change it and stop talking about what isn't as if is!</div><div>^</div><div>Just for being a Poet of sorts theres back lash misinterpretation, the how dare she! Possessiveness's over expression...but hey!</div><div>^</div></div>
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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6474887/fanaticism-pt-9">Fanaticism pt 9</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><div>Originally Added to blogger 11/11/2020/11:30</div><div>^</div><div>I am so thankfully grateful and blessed to repent and surrender to the forgiveness purpose and power life is!</div><div>^</div><div>Thou Shalt not Leave!</div><div>^</div><div>Set out feeling great</div><div>Driving along enjoying the sound of the engine, the wind blowing, or some fine music </div><div>Minding my own pretty business</div><div>But the cars start lingering in the mirror</div><div>Driving slower</div><div>Then a feeling comes over</div><div>Feels like puffs of air rising or swiping down across your face</div><div>You still ani't taking any notice because your driving and trying to do what is road safe</div><div>Cars suspiciously waiting driving </div><div>A Yellow Van </div><div>An energy swathing begins occurring</div><div>The next thing you know you are struggling to stay awake behind the wheel whilst driving!</div><div>Forced to fall asleep</div><div>^</div><div>There is a long line of traffic driving in the same lane behind you</div><div>Lengths and lengths of long trucks</div><div>But you observe one driver with their lights too high or too bright</div><div>That driver keeps pulling out and flashing lights</div><div>You try to ignore it but it keeps happening and then you start to feel you energy changing</div><div>Forced to change again</div><div>Because someone is practicing something in the belief it will never be identified as someone else</div><div>^</div><div>A jealously of such hate</div><div>Which can never congratulate</div><div>A jealously of such hate</div><div>Which hates anyone who can graduate</div><div>A jealously of such hate</div><div>Which will concoct and derive a way to destroy in such away that evidence will only ever point at one perceived as a victim and equally as a survivor for ignoring the aims of the one so jealous!</div><div>^</div><div>Driving down the road again</div><div>And many will try claim  something is wrong with the state you are in</div><div>Stressed out and traumatised, yes!</div><div>Terrified even to be left not earning after the years jealously managed to find their way into destroying what the mundane and boring where doing to make a living!</div><div>But they had to get into destroy everything</div><div>How dare she leave and seek better from education or any job place and most of all my life!</div><div>^</div><div>But you will be to blame if it is not seen or realised that this is the work of possible levels of highly psychiatric illnesses</div><div>It is not that you are without compassion </div><div>But this continues on because of where the levels began</div><div>It is hard to have to speak out against someone</div><div>It is hard to forced to speak out against a regime</div><div>It is hard to be one person forced into a position to have to stand up to an entire institution which also holds or has at one time held within it abusive beliefs and systems!</div><div>^</div><div>Thou Shall Leave a State of Fear for a Love which will always understand no guilt will ever abide where illness is left to thrive!</div><div>^</div><div>Driving down the road</div><div>Poked prodded shoved</div><div>By energy derived from illnesses or the necessity to resist</div><div>Feeling forced to use your imagination to match the hate sent into your system</div><div>Where you are driving down the road and again feel woozy after the driver of the red car infront is lingering and watching you as you drive past crackit lane</div><div>Waiting and gauging for when the "sleep now" command can go in</div><div>^</div><div>Excerpt from up and coming book</div><div><br></div><div>Fanaticism! </div><div>To be published</div><div>Amazon kdp</div><div>www.naturalflowism.com</div><div><br></div><div> </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2020-11-11T12:13:00+00:00" title="11 November, 2020 12:13">11/11/2020</span></p>

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  <div class="message"><div>I swear the thing about the obvious is that everybody or almost everybody sees it but maybe just maybe not everybody can say it, because it is obvious</div><div><br></div><div>It is lined up perfectly </div><div>Because it is obvious</div><div>But it begs something which is obviously obvious whilst not yet being obvious obviously!</div><div> </div><div>Something happened around me in such away I know it was something of someone obvious yet it has possibly morphed into something of someone doing what they do less obviously </div><div><br></div><div>I was fine alert and awake</div><div>Then felt a very fine slight movement of air swipe from top left of my face and as if it was pull down to the bottom right of my face toward my jaw as a car emerged from the service station to merge with the flow of motorway traffic</div><div><br></div><div>But upon approach my thoughts turned to suddenly being filled with dread of being forced to feel drowsy when it is not what I am feeling really. Yet if you know a regular occurrence will occur it is obviously wise to be prepared but not so obvious to confirm that us an attacker lagging behind as they wait and gauge their approach which will leave being yanked and dragged and feeling battered just for doing the work you need which matters.</div><div><br></div><div>There are halls and corridors filled of those which suffer the most horrendous ills whilst causing the most cruel and dreadful skilled in appearance distracting their obvious inability to have any kind and healthy  intention </div><div><br></div><div>Many visit and work with the Intention of healing and being kind</div><div>I was one of them at one point in time. But I was too immature to look back to see who would have seen me or noted me in my blind empathy to know what cruelty would do when kindness is shown. </div><div><br></div><div>It is much more obvious now </div><div>Because years of experience has forced me to wake up to the multiple tricks of distraction easily preyed upon whilst I try to prioritise my focus and attention</div><div><br></div><div>It is obvious</div><div>But it leaves an obvious thing</div><div>Something which leaves the obvious less obvious yet obviously present</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism </div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div> </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>
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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6462890/woke-up-remembering">Woke up remembering...</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><div>Though enjoying being in public places had been made uncomfortable </div><div><br></div><div>I remember being just fine until that helicopter began rising and my mind and head began spinning with messages like: your not staying</div><div>Shouldn't you be going?</div><div><br></div><div>Today when I remember I hear things sentences like: ...and I went and paid him - the make things impossible payments</div><div><br></div><div>Now, i am not stating any facts or laying any claim to such payments existing or such action of being true!</div><div><br></div><div>I just remember feeling instantly unhappy with and without fully consciously realising or properly processing feelings of feeling violated and attempts at public humiliation whilst internally terrorized in public and in private!</div><div><br></div><div>They laughed</div><div>I have laughed</div><div>I know different laughs</div><div>Was so in pain</div><div>I laughed till others felt shame </div><div>Learnt from the years I was laughed at beyond just feeling humiliated and I still grew up to laugh when young too immature to realise the illness excessive laughter can be and the long lasting negative effects it can sustain on certain vulnerable citizens.</div><div><br></div><div>They laughed</div><div>With beautiful white teeth smiles</div><div>On bended knee</div><div>Sporty</div><div>Were they real?</div><div>I was so steeped in spiritualism at the time</div><div>Looking back it feels like they were hiding somebody</div><div>Bad reputation </div><div>Theres me living trying to get to normal by writing and eventually sharing my personal initmate diaries for my own self-healing only to find the years when I was under the age of consent below the age of a child sexually abused all those years where being used to again abuse me for being loose!</div><div><br></div><div>Yes as an adult you have your responsibility to take and decisions to make</div><div>But I will write again</div><div>It takes years to wake up and become knowing and strong when abuse has been relentlessly maintained by abusers who cannot heal or run from what they have done</div><div><br></div><div>That pond</div><div>Those ducks</div><div>Those swans</div><div>The stories they must be able tell</div><div>The Gardens</div><div>The Park</div><div>Still to this day has been the everyday get out </div><div>In my younger days it was where I thought I had dreamt up a freer life </div><div>Away from religious restrictions</div><div>It was where speakers spoke</div><div>And hippies often shared kisses</div><div>The park is where I would go heartbroken by exes and career choices and job loses frustrated by my own lack </div><div>Sit witless be approached by male stranger and end up experiencing chewing gum kisses </div><div>Left me feeling completely insulted and down graded nothing romantic </div><div>Each and every time</div><div>No love</div><div>Unexpected liaisons I still hadn't learnt to avoid!</div><div>The lushness of nature shaped into a park</div><div>The perils of the abused as they try to learn how to find the level of love they need for their own hearts to heal!</div><div>Especially when so often Love is confused as sex lust and desire</div><div>As though as easy as looking at flowers to attain</div><div>In peace I remember this refrain</div><div>But a little voice says to me...you should have gone back to sleep until you could get up without remembering anything!</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>
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<h2 class="heading-secondary heading-blog alt-font">
  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6462891/waking-up-feeling">Waking Up feeling...</a>&nbsp;
</h2>

<div class="post">
  <div class="message"><div>Corrected Version</div><div>
<div>Too many years stolen stuck thinking</div>
<div>Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions </div>
<div>Too many years spent being followed everyday</div>
<div>By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!</div>
<div><br></div>
<div>A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change </div>
<div>Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain</div>
<div>The people want</div>
<div>The people need</div>
<div>The people read</div>
<div>But are the people all good</div>
<div>Or are they sick with greed or wrong needs?</div>
<div>Are the people injured </div>
<div>Or full of dis-ease </div>
<div>About what they think they need or want to see or read?</div>
<div>So why feed?</div>
<div><br></div>
<div>Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen</div>
<div>Though thankfully some good and informative information has been chosen</div>
<div>Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons </div>
<div><br></div>
<div>A stalker is a stalker</div>
<div>Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours</div>
<div><br></div>
<div>Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!</div>
<div><br></div>
<div>Because sooner or later</div>
<div>A person with such behaviours</div>
<div>Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!</div>
<div> </div>
<div><br></div>
<div><br></div>
<div>Too much time....</div>
<div>&amp;</div>
<div>Too many years.... </div>
<div><br></div>
<div>Thank God they sat there saying </div>
<div>Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing</div>
<div><br></div>
<div>There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings</div>
<div>Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!</div>
<div>^ </div>
<div>Natural Flowism</div>
<div>^</div>
<div>A Freedom of Being!</div>
<div>^</div>
</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Unedited Version</div><div>Too many years stolen stuck thinking</div><div>Too many years debilitated by unanswered questions </div><div>Too many years spent being followed everyday</div><div>By sick obssessional  and deluded naysayers!</div><div><br></div><div>A stalker is a stalker and stalking does not change </div><div>Calling it journalism does not reduce the pain</div><div>The people want</div><div>The people need</div><div>The people read</div><div>But are the people or good</div><div>Or they sick with greed or wrong needs?</div><div>Are the people injured </div><div>Or full of dis-ease </div><div>About what they think they need or want to see or read?</div><div>So why feed?</div><div><br></div><div>Too many years spent lost and feeling stolen</div><div>Though some good and informative information has been chosen</div><div>Researched and taught millions of us many many good lessons </div><div><br></div><div>A stalker is a stalker</div><div>Stalking is a very serious and even deadly diagnosis and set of behaviours</div><div><br></div><div>Which cannot be hidden clothed or clad behind anything, anyone, least of all a profession!</div><div><br></div><div>Because sooner or later</div><div>A person with such behaviours</div><div>Will be forced to expose the behaviours nature!</div><div> </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Too much time....</div><div>&amp;</div><div>Too many years.... </div><div><br></div><div>Thank God they sat they saying </div><div>Shrugging and winking about the blatant crimes they have been committing</div><div><br></div><div>There are no permissions given in a cameras instructions which says you can rob and steal a persons life, their mind, or their belongings</div><div>Just because you cannot perceive who is collectively clinically sick!</div><div>^ </div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div><br></div></div>
</div>


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  <a href="/blog-house/blog/6453431/freedom-and-love-thankfully-grateful-not-because-you-have-lied-something-else-means-you-cannot-fully">Freedom and Love Thankfully Grateful not because you have lied something else means you cannot fully say!</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">I am so Thankfully Grateful and Blessed as I Repent and Surrender to the Forgiveness Purpose and Power Life is!<div><br></div><div>Every time I look around</div><div>Someone is affected</div><div>Even by not being affected </div><div>Some how even that is connected</div><div><br></div><div>This morning gratefully I woke up and asked myself what haven't you been saying or writing?</div><div><br></div><div>For me </div><div>I have taken my creatively written self-healung everywhere I think it should go</div><div>From love to hate</div><div>From kindness to wickedness and back again to freedom and love</div><div>But you know even though I have shared and created so much in as much honesty as I can</div><div>The truth is alot of what I have written about still has lengths and miles of things I would really like to say but feel I cannot</div><div>It is as much as I can do</div><div>Is to get some parts of it out of my system each day week or month etc</div><div>But when I really ask myself is that everything I was even surprised by myself when the answer was no!</div><div><br></div><div>As complaining as I feel I have been forced to be. Something is still tellung me I have not complained or advised appropriately to possibly affect a change in situations which have deeply changed and sadly even affected the way of my being.</div><div>All of that at times feels like a danger almost lurks beneath after years of being mistaken for possibly being somebody else or by anothers perception of who you really are.</div><div><br></div><div>It is sad but true among the wrong mindset speaking about the way you respond to life and others can mean the difference of someone believing they can blame you for all wrong doing without feeling any shame or responsibility about their own behaviour.</div><div><br></div><div>Self Awareness</div><div>Self Searching</div><div>Self Healing</div><div>Is not a freedom for all to blame you because you can look at your own behaviours actions reactions and responses and own them.</div><div><br></div><div>Responding to this mornings wake up call which very gently and lovingly ask me to search myself and at least know that as much time that is given sharing must for me personally hold the realisation of what is not being written from the total depth of my being. The really crux that would more than likely pull the feeling of disappearing moments and lost days into the open where they belong to be dealt with properly to the point they will not continually return to consistently haunt me.</div><div><br></div><div>I have put enough on myself to achieve change and turn around in my own private world. I must admit I have been ill prepared for how my own private energy goals and desires would connect or manifest externally. </div><div><br></div><div>Through anyone person we see or feel one of lifes blessings and challenges is to know and learn if what we see or if what we are told is in the proportion to the real truth if it were ever told.</div><div>^</div><div>Natural Flowism</div><div>^</div><div>A Freedom of Being!</div><div>^</div><div>Freedom and Love!</div><div>^</div></div>
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