So much to do
So much to get done
Yet everything seems to be in fragmentation
Everything which is about to be brought together
Feels like it is completely falling apart!
Probably not the best way to go about saying Welcome to My Creative Space
My Hub!
But to be typically true to form I remain inappropriately myself!
Naturally me in my own freedom of being!
I moved to this site just recently
Cannot even pretend that I know what I am doing!
Just figured out how to sell my products
I feel like I am in a weird state
By all other standards as an artist who has recently put out an albumish/Ep mine is….
BAD Guitar by me Lavinia De Ayr
I have only just learnt how to add it to my site over a month after its release!
Bad show?
Just keeping it very real!
Though in one way I feel I really ought to be out there somewhere promoting my work
I feel a little different about my accomplishment at the tender age of just 53 years old!
Not an excuse I might add!
I am very proud and pleased of what I have accomplished
It totally relieved me of a lot of anxiety once I got it finished
As Therapy is the process I need!
It has taken me years to finally be able to listen and look at myself and be in love with what I see
The first investment I ever made in myself toward a career was some singing lessons because I thought I wanted to be a backing singer
It was the first thing I thought on a professional level I really wanted to do with my life, though I could never really reconcile the trepidation of having to go out on stage, but I figured if I could do it. It would feed me and my daughter well!
I am so thankful and grateful that though at the time as a young Mom I was not able to fully pursue that dream. By some weird twist of fate, I find myself back in almost the same place again
Only this time with my own style of record label!
This journey is a pleasure and a complete and entire blessing though it all appears impossible
Yet from somewhere I have complete faith in following the path I am on
I cannot sit here presently and share that I have posted millions of record sales
I am still The Wanting Entrepreneur
But I will say this
Welcome to Natural Flowism Studios
Where Therapy is the Process!
Currently I, Lavinia De Ayr is the only resident Self Portrait Artist
My work is………………………………………Behind the Scenes of Freedom!
Behind the Scenes of Freedom explores the reality of abuse in a family context, incest, and the continuum of incest, and what it is to experience the experience of being stalked by some else more than just one time - whilst trying to do something as simple, and beautiful as moving onward with your own individual personal life!
Sounds and is ever so simple
Nonetheless, it has been quite a daunting prospect to emerge from a form of isolation to be centre page. Most of all to be the one putting myself and even pushing myself forward especially after years of lack of confidence, and times of low self – esteem!
Please check out all site and social media buttons where you will find links to all my books at Amazon and my art collections at Saatchi Art!
There is much works in progress which will appear hopefully sooner rather than later, on site
Have no live performance dates - just have not reached that level of promotion or performance yet though short films/videos of my work and performances are being explored
Despite being able to produce a complete music Ep without any spoken word there is still a degree of improv/freestyle to what I do
Therefore, I am faced with a bit of a challenge to keep doing the same thing I already did!
But it is all good fun, and a good memory jog!
I hope you enjoy what is on offer
Spoken Word/Vocal Albums are great resources of performance research for anyone looking for inspiration, or information on surviving early childhood abuses, and stalking behaviours!
All tracks are available for free listening if you have access through the right programs i.e Amazon, Sound Cloud etc
Many Thanks
Lavinia De Ayr
Natural Flowism
A Freedom of Being!
Selah!